21: Take It Slow

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A/N: So...the gif up there says it all. I'm not going to say anything else but ENJOY READING! 


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The months that followed passed by in a blur. Work had become hectic but I thoroughly enjoyed my job. I didn't think I'd fit perfectly into the Sales and Advertising department in my firm with the diploma I had but once I had gotten settled into the job I found it the most fitting. I was still looking for that promotion which undoubtedly wouldn't be coming my way anytime soon but I was content with that. I had just fully entered the world and while it was big, scary too, I felt myself finding home—making my way to it, at least.

And it was strange because I was finding home with only Riley by my side. I had always had this mentality in the back of my head that I needed a man in my life, to build a perfect family, but I didn't need to have a partner to thrive in life if I was happy with what life gave me. Riley had a father and I shouldn't have tried to make Bruce the replacement. I always thought the perfect family was what Riley needed but all he needed was for his mother to be happy, to be with him, to care for him without thinking about ulterior motives.

Despite breaking up with Bruce a couple of months ago I hadn't run back into Finn Jackson's arms even though I had wanted to. I had a clear conversation with him one Sunday. I had told him that I wasn't ready to get into another complicated relationship when I had just gotten out of a dysfunctional one. He surprised me by agreeing and backing away. I learnt over the course of the next few months that I shouldn't have been surprised because Finn meant what he said when he convinced me to let Riley back into his life. Finn Jackson had changed, he had become a better man, and I didn't want to believe it because I was scared that he'd hurt me as he had done years ago.

He was right about a lot of things. About how I put Riley before my own needs, how I was an empirical law. Finn deserved a second chance and with the way my heart acted around this man I wanted him to get his second chance too. But I wasn't ready to give it to him yet.

I needed to be happy with myself and after I ended my relationship with Bruce I wasn't entirely happy. Bruce Vela truly was a brilliant man and even though he had lied to me I still felt guilty. They said ego and ignorance is what caused the death of a relationship. That was what happened with Bruce and I, with Finn and I. And until I was happy with myself I was going to take a step back and find what it was that I wanted without factoring Riley into that decision.

"Hey baby," I whispered, laying my hand down on the page of the book as I looked down at my son, his eyes drooping with sleep.

"Hmm?" Riley managed to reply.

I smiled, my heart thrumming with the song of a steady, slow rhythmic tune. "Goodnight baby," I said, leaning down and brushing my lips across his forehead.

A mumble was my reply as he cuddled against my body. I placed the book that I was reading for him—it was one that Elisabeth had left for him—before I switched off the lamp light and got comfortable on my bed. Riley begged to sleep with me tonight and I only objected the first couple of times he asked because I found it cute how he wanted to sleep with me tonight because it was Halloween and we had watched a scary movie.

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