Fire and Ice

I'm Trying to Sleep, but I Can't When There are Aliens

I'm in Tony's giant sitting room upstairs pacing the floor and trying to calm my nerves so I won't catch the entire building on fire, parachute thrown across the room.

I want in I said, I think to myself taking some medicine. It'll be a cool experience I said. I end up kidnapped by an Asgardian and possibly having feelings for him as well.

Wait!

I stop in my tracks.

No, I most certainly am not! Oh, hell no! I take a deep breath.

I could be having a class taught by Mr. McCoy, but I wanted adventure. 

"Breaking news!" I scramble to find the remote. 

"Everything's breaking news in New York."  I keep searching when-

"-and what looks like aliens are erupting from the sky!"

Uh oh.  The sky grows dark as I look outside the window, and I see the cause of the darkness.

How am I not hearing this! Aliens! Aliens everywhere!

A sudden realization strikes me. 

Loki. He set this entire thing up. 

He pinned the Avengers against each other to keep them away from here.

"Loki is setting up on Stark Tower."

I go downstairs to get a better look.

Banner has anger Issues, Romanov is down there with a mind controlled Hawkeye, Cap is getting shot at, Iron Man has a possibility of getting chopped to bits, and, oh yeah, Thor has dropped off the heli-carrier. Loki tricked Agent Coulson with his illusions. DAMN IT LOKI! 

 I accidentally make a computer explode. "Sorry Stark."

Someone sets a drink on the bar counter. "And you should be." I prepare to blow up this asshole. "Whoa. Easy there, Short Stuff." Stark.

"What the hell Stark. I could've killed you or something." He just laughs at me. "Well you would just have to take my place if you did, but that would never happen because I am too much for you."

"You should go back to your room, now." I start to protest, but he looks serious. "I am going to be in my room because I want to be." I start to walk to it, but he grabs me and puts me behind the counter. If you've ever been thrown behind a counter, it is like when you fall on your butt on skates. If you've never been skating, go see what happens. "What the-!" He shushes me. "What?!" I whisper.

He mouths 'Your boyfriend's here' and stands up to talk to him.

Like hell he's my boyfriend!

"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity." I hold my breath.

He really is here.

I have the urge to peek around the counter to see what's happening, but I refrain and take off my glasses instead. Thermal is better than nothing.

"Uh, actually, I'm planning to threaten you."

"You should've left your armor on for that."

Tony grabs a bottle to fix himself another drink. "Yeah. You've seen a bit of mileage and you've got the, uh, Glowstick of Destiny. Would you like a drink?"

"Stalling me won't change anything."

"No no no. Threatening. No drink? You sure? I'm having one."

Loki ignores him and walks away. "The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers." There's a pause. "It's what we call ourselves. It's sort of like a team. Earth's mightiest heroes type thing."

"Yes, I met them."

"Yeah. Takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one, but let's do a head count here. Your brother, the demigod," Loki scoffs. "A super soldier, the living legend who," Tony starts grabbing the bands to his suit off the counter, "kinda lives up to the legend, a man with breathtaking anger management issues, a couple of master assassins, and you big fella." I see him pointing to Loki from behind the counter. "You've managed to piss off every single one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

"I have an army."

"We have a Hulk."

"Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off."

"Yeah, you're missing the point. There's no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."

"How will your friends have time for me when they're so busy fighting you?" I hear his spear charge up and then it hitting something metal. I can't take it any longer and peek around the bar to see Loki trying to possess Tony again with a puzzled look on his face.

"This usually works."

"Well, performance issues are not uncommon. One out of fi-." Before he can finish, he's grabbed by his face and thrown across the floor.

He tries to get back up. "JARVIS, any time now." Loki grabs him by the face again.

He's calling his suit!

"You will all fall before me."

"DEPLOY!" Tony screams to his suit to comply, but it opens slowly. Any more slowly and-

"Deploy..." Tony strains to get the words out as he's thrown out of the nearest window.

"NO!" I run to the hatch and bang on the door. "Deploy, you stupid thing!"

He looks at the opening hatch before him, then at me. The distraction is just enough for the suit to come out, and he almost gets hit by Tony's suit. Loki starts coming for me but stops when Tony blocks him.

"And there's one other person you pissed off. His name is Phil." He blasts Loki with his blasters and falls to the floor.

Blue light starts coming from the tower and opens the sky, and aliens emerge from the opening. I sigh.

Right... Army...