Harry's Notebook

Chapter 15

Angel gave me a cup of hot tea, smoke fanning my face as I took a sip with shaky hands. Naked knees against the yellow hoodie Angel gave me. Angel folded my dirty suit and placed it on the small table. “You can throw it” I murmured, the bitter liquid too hot and burning my mouth.

“Are you sure, this must have cost-”

“Well it's ruined anyway, so why bother” I cut him of in a harsh mumble, the older man stilled for a second before silently nodding, slipping out of the room and going to his bedroom. I cursed, it wasn't Angel that I was angry at, it was myself. I lost it. I'm the one going bat crazy.

I closed my eyes and took a sip from the tea. Trying to relax but failing. I lost it, I really did. I just need, Harry.

Angel came back with his head bowed, at first guilt rushed trough my veins but then I saw the phone I gave him in his hands, screen giving his face a light blue glow. “I'm on here” he said, brows furrowed. I put my cup down and patted the sofa, only a bit disgusted by the dust clouding the air. The man sat down beside me, showing me the screen. He was on The mirror's web page and there were an article, about me and my mystery friend.

My eyes scanned every picture of us, taken only an hour earlier or so. I hadn't even noticed any paparazzi, thinking they would be respectful enough to not come to his funeral.

My fists curled up as I read about how I lost it in front of his grave until a man came and collected me, same man I had been spotted with in the food store where I apparently also lost it.

I haven't bothered to check what the media thinks on me, and well now that I see that they thinks I'm losing it (which I am) I don't care. I don't care if the haters tweet me, I told you so, or if my fans leave me. I don't care if mothers tell their children that I'm a psycho. I don't care if the whole word thinks I'm crazy.

But I don't want people to know about Angel, then he'll be stalked. “I'm sorry Angel” I sighed and curled into myself, the older slung his arm around my shoulders and tucked me in under his bicep.

“It's alright Lou” he murmured, locking his phone and placing it beside my cup. His left hand twitched a bit and he balled his fingers.

“Could I maybe take a shower?” I quietly asked, resting my head on his shoulder, crown of my head touching his jaw. He ran his fingers up and down my arm twice before answering.

“Yes, but the water turns cold after about ten minutes so you have to be quick” he told me, squeezing my arm one time before pulling me up in standing position. He twirled his eyebrow piercing between his fingers and I suddenly got the urge to to the same, feel if it was soft or rough.

He showed me the shower and gave me a towel, I quickly got undressed once the door was locked. The faintest of faint marks that were the shape of fingers splashed out around my hips, still there from the night at the club. The claw marks on my stomach clear in the dull light, I picked at the scab, hissing at the almost none pain.

I stepped into the shower before the water turned warm, making goosebumps arise. Slowly the water turned hot, almost scalding but that only lasted a minute or two, too short for any damage to really happen. I grabbed Angel's cheap soap and rubbed it all over my body, washing away the dirt.