Life's a Gem

5.C Locker Talk

Alex quickly walks between the passing students. I also try to weave in between them. 

I fail and bump into a cheerleader. 

My face presses into her chest and awards me a slap to the face with a side of "pervert!" 

I quickly brush off the accident and rush to Alex's side. She blankly stares in front of her; her eyes are wide open. I try to pull the words out of my stomach and place them into the air. 

"Alex...what's up?" 

Alex continues walking as we turn the corner. 

"Alex, you okay? You cool, dude?" 

Alex sighs; her breath gives me hope. 

She turns her head to me, "No, everything is not okay. Everything is horrible. Everything is the worst thing I've ever heard."

  I didn't expect that from her. 

Never mind, just talk to her. 

"Do you wanna talk about it, Alex?" 

"You know what? Yeah, I do. I do want to talk about it."

 "Okay, well, sh—" 

"How the fuck are you just gonna tell me that he tried to kill you!?" 

Alex says this a little too loud as the students near us stop walking and stare at us. 

"Dude, not so loud! Do you want the rumors to spread quicker?" 

"To hell with the rumors! I only care about what happened to you!" 

I try to calm her down by doing gestures with my hands that look like I'm fanning a small fire. 

"Max, Max, do you know what it's like to imagine someone you care about dying? Huh? Do you know? I don't think so. I freaked out, Max. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even think." 

"Why, why did you feel that way?" 

Alex huffs, "Because I care about you! Damn it, Max! Can't you see that? You and Sam mean the world to me, and it's bullshit to know that you nearly died and you didn't tell me!" 

We continue walking toward the gym while I look down. 

"Maybe it's because I didn't want to worry you, Alex. You're always the happy one, the one that always wears a smile bigger than the sun. Maybe I just didn't want to ruin your day, maybe even your life. That's all, Alex. Don't think that I kept it from you because I didn't trust you. I didn't tell you because I knew that it would hurt so much." 

I hope that these words impact her in some way. 

Trying to comfort someone is like trying to extinguish the sun. 

I can never get the words right; the words always get jumbled up in my intestines and scrape against my throat whenever I try to comfort someone. 

Alex looks at me and eases her eyes. 

"Max... thank you. That doesn't mean you can withhold information from me, though. Just...just tell me next time, okay?" 

We reach the gym doors. Students walk by us as we stand still. 

She stares at me, her eyes scanning me until she excuses herself. 

"Yo, Sam! What's up, man! Come on!" 

Alex waves at Sam and they both go into the locker room. I squeeze my eyes shut and sigh. 

At least you comforted her, sorta.

I turn to the door that opens up to the boy's locker room. 

Well, into the jungle we go! 

I push the doors open; the chatter of men immediately stops. I walk in and my footsteps echo against the walls. The sound of water dripping from a shower head is clearly heard as I make it to my usual spot. I open up my backpack; the sound of the zipper unzipping sounds unnatural against the background noise of nothingness. I pull out my white t-shirt. 

I know what's coming, and I'm ready to accept it. 

I take off my shirt, exposing my bare body to them. They quickly capture a glimpse of my bruises. Some are from Henry, and some are from Trevor. To the others, they all belong to Trevor. 

Some guys stare, some quickly look away, and others nod their heads slowly.

 I put on my shirt, pulling it down quickly so that they will no longer be able to see my ugly body. 

"So it's true then," a jock steps up from behind the crowd, "about what happened to Trevor and you." 

The crowd stares at me as I turn around, "Yeah, what of it? You gonna jump me too? Jump me for your friend?" 

I stand up straight and stick out my chest in front of them. Most of them back off. 

"No, no...we're not gonna do that. Just didn't think that Trevor would do something like that." 

The jock scratches his head; his muscles bulge from underneath his shirt. 

"I mean, you know, we knew about his habit. We knew he needed to take some before he played a big game, but we didn't know that it would change him like...like that." 

"WELL IF YOU FUCKING KNEW, WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP HIM!?" 

I briskly walk up to the jock who slightly steps back. 

I look up at him, "Why didn't you help him quit? You saw what it did to him, you saw what it made him become. Yet, you did nothing. You let him die inside for a couple of points and field goals! Bullshit, I nearly died because of him! If you truly cared about Trevor, if he was actually your friend, you would've stopped him. But really, you don't give a shit. None of you do."

The guys stand there. Some can't look at me, while some look away and slowly change into gym clothes. The jock looks at me; he looks like he's frustrated. 

"You're right. You're right and I can't say sorry to you. I- I don't know anymore. Just forget that I ever said anything, okay?" 

He breathes in and walks away, causing the crowd to slowly disperse. 

I look around the room. 

God, what's wrong with you? 

Stop blowing up like that. They're gonna get the idea that you're a loose cannon. Just keep your mouth shut! 

Whatever, it's not like I care about what they think.

 I walk to the doors and open them.

Neutral face, Max, neutral face.