私は
I'M
yoongi
seconds felt like minutes.
minutes felt like hours.
hours felt like days.
days felt like weeks.
time moved so slowly for me that i was just about to give up on myself...the more pain i inflicted on myself...the more miserable i felt...i wanted to escape from this cruel world...
+
fuck. i didn't text hoseok for two days. what the actual fuck is wrong with me ? i'm so disappointed with myself. he's probably out with another guy, much better than me, a pathetic and weak asshole.
"it's not getting any better !" i shouted in frustration."argh ! i fucking hate my life !" i continued not realising the mess i made in my entire bedroom."fuck, i've to clean this mess up" i felt like shouting again, my feelings just aren't working out. frustration filled me more and more, i needed to calm down. i tried...and tried...and tried, but to no avail.
the more my feelings grew, the more i wanted out. out from this world entirely. without hesitation this time, i took the knife again, and just kept cutting...cutting...and cutting. the more pain I felt, the more feelings i had disappeared. i felt pain, sharp pain, but at the same time, joy.
what's wrong with me ? i messed up again...hoseok-ah, i'm sorry for this, i'm sorry for everything...i hope you're alright without me...you wouldn't need me...i'm leaving soon...
+
thoughts. thoughts filled my mind once again. what good do i get from all this self harm ? nothing. instead, i'm losing everything. everything i ever had. my once bare and fair skin, now filled with cuts and bruises, everything i tried to hide with clothes. i changed entirely. the way i dress, the amount of sleep i got, the time i spent in work, the time i spent with hoseok...
