#29
Amahli.
She stared at me blankly. I know she wasn't expecting to see me anytime soon and if so then she'd expect to see me at the wedding and not at her door step.
When I arrived at Nashay's apartment she was surprised to see me also, asking what happened between me and Bianca for my visit? Nothing honestly, we're still together I just wanted to see La'Jaih.
Shay gave me the address to her apartment leaving me surprised, I wasn't expecting her to give me La'Jaih's address after she perfectly told La'Jaih she didn't condone in our secret affair. La'Jaih had blown my mind away, she had her own apartment showing that she was really growing up and maturing something that is on my top list in a woman.
La'Jaih: I don't understand why you're here?
She spoke after minutes of silence, she hugged her shoulders staring down at the floor. The vibe she was sending off was so cold and negative, like she didn't care and I didn't blame her after our last encounter I wouldn't be surprised if she hated me already.
La'Jaih: Who gave you my address?
She muttered rolling her eyes. I still hadn't found the voice to speak, I didn't know what to say. But what I do know is "I missed her" and us having no form of contact, with her ignoring my calls and texts showed me how much I needed her.
La'Jaih: And if your just going to stand there looking at me, you might as well get the f*ck from here. You know what? Why did you even come? You made yourself PERFECTLY clear where I stood with you, Za told me what you said to her. You know Amahli, I'm tired of your bullsh*t I'm drained, no energy and I'm not down for a fight!
Her voiced cracked a little, she sounded almost miserable, on the edge of crying but she kept it together.
I'm a confusing person, I know that! I'm 26 and I'm struggling to cope and contain the order of my emotions, there all over the place.
I care for Bianca deeply, I feel to blame for what suffering she's going through. I love La'Jaih, love her so much but yet I want to see jealousy in her eyes when I kiss and hold Bianca, I want to see how much she cares from the tears that roll down her cheeks, I saw the love she held and felt it like I've never felt it before...
When she gave herself to me, giving me her virginity.
And that's why I stand here today, to apologise and amplify the love I hold for her, to elaborate on how much she actually means to me, to explain that I've never come across a being as perfect, as beautiful, as desirable like her.
I still hadn't answered, I could see her irritation from the tapping of her foot and by the deep breathing that escaped from her nose and mouth, I was scared to look at her. I told you, she seemed so cold too cold even. I was scared that the eyes looking back at me, read a message I didn't want to see or read.
- She hated me
- She no longer wanted to see me
- She didn't love me anymore
- She had moved on
- She didn't need me
And that hurt.
Hurt me to the core.
So my eyes stayed glued to her pretty feet, analysing her toes and the tattoo she'd gotten that I hadn't noticed before. It had a design of a red rose, with the word "LOVE". Unusual but I truly liked it, I loved her unique sense of personality and individuality, I loved the way she spoke to me, her attitude, her devious smile, her white teeth.
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SECRETS
Random"I want you so bad La'Jaih if only you knew how much" I fought the temptation removing his hands from off me, then putting my hoops in my ears. He sighed sitting on my bed, his face in the palm of his hands. I didn't even know him properly, the only...
