Lavender Moon (Matty Healy Fanfic)

heart out

I've always had a hard time telling my true memories from the made up scenarios I created in my head when I wasn't satisfied with reality.
Sometimes it's quite obvious - like how possible is it that the doctor picked me up in his TARDIS and flew me across the universe when I was seven and got lost in Legoland.
Truth was that I had to spend two hours in the office of a grumpy lady while they searched for my mum.
Turned out that she locked herself on the toilets for about an hour after a telephone fight with my dad and didn't even realise that she lost me. Parenting at its finest.
I might add that I spend most of my time when I was seven or eight watching old Doctor Who episodes because my dad loved them.
My actual dad - not Steven that forced me to call him dad ever since he married my mum. He's a nice guy, good for her but he's not my dad.

Yet again, I wasn't sure how far I romanticised the events of my first Drive Like I Do gig. Especially the events afterwards.
I was sitting on a bench not to far away from the pub, my ears still ringing from the loud music inside. It had been a little bit too much for me, too many people pressed up against each other, the band that played after Matty and his friends, the dizzy feeling which told me that I've had one beer too much, just everything.
So now I wrapped my hoody closer around my body and breathed in the cold air. I should probably go back home. I didn't leave a note or anything so my mum probably went batshit crazy at that exact moment.
"Did you like the show?"
I jumped. "Oh god, can't you give me a warning before you creep up from behind?"
Matty simply laughed and sat down beside me, immediantly lighting a cigaret.
We were quietly sitting next to each other and I couldn't help but notice how he was looking at me not even making an efford trying to hide it.
"Stop it." I simply said.
"Stop what?" he looked seriously puzzled.
"Staring at me."
"Why?"
"Because ... I don't know ... it makes me uncomfortable ... I don't like people looking at me - I don't know." I felt the blood shooting into my cheeks as I stumbled over my own words.
"Why?"
"Because I don't even like looking at myself." I replied quickly. Quicker than I could think about my own words.
Further away the sound of a single car horn, nothing more. Not a single sound from Matty.
I pressed my eyes shut and rubbed my face. This was a bloody rollercoaster and I didn't know how to feel.
"Did you like me when we first met?"
"What?" Now it was my turn to be absolutly puzzled. He looked completely concerned.
"Did you like me when we first met?"
"No." I might as well just be honest.
"Why?"
Is that his favourite question?
"Because" I paused "because I thought that you were quite an arrogant douchebag, sorry."
"A lot of people seem to think that, mostly after they hear that apparently my parents are on television."
"It wasn't about your parents, I didn't even know them. It's quite an easy move to say that your parents are the reason that some people might not like you." When did I become such a brat?
He shrugged it off and laughed lightly.
I shivered at a sudden back draught. It got colder by any minute.
"Do you want my jacket?" Matty actually got up from the bench and took off his leather jacket.
"No, no ... I should probably go home anyway." I was unable to cope with the situation anymore. I really didn't know what to do around him.
Hell, I wasn't even sure if he liked me.
"I'll bring you."

He insisted on walking me home and so we headed back noiseless.
"I didn't mean to be such a dick this afternoon when I said that I didn't want you there. I was just nervous about the gig and everything - it was the first time we played in front of people in ages." he muttered truthfully just before we reached my house.
"S'alright." I pushed a strand of hair from my face and turned to him.
"Yeah, so ..."
We now stood in front of my door.
"Um, I should probably ... get inside ..."
I searched for the keys that were hidden in one of the plants next to the door - imaginative, I know.
Next thing I know is that I was standing right in front of Matty, clasping the spare key.
"It was actually quite nice ... having you there, I mean." he breathed and quickly leaned over to plant a small kiss on my still burning cheek.
"Wha-"
"See ya 'round then." Matty turned away and walked down my driveway.
I swiftly got inside the house and leaned against the door.
What the fuck.
What the fuck.
What
the
fuck.
The light turned on, blending me and I hissed.

A/N: sorry that it took me so long to update but school's stressing me out and I've had a massive writers block so yeah. I hope you like the new chapter though??
Thank you for more than 1k reads btw xx