Snowflakes

Anything

Me? I'm nobody. I live in a blazing hot town, and i'm nothing special.So why do all these things happen to me?

The bad anchor is still in my life.He is everywhere he shouldn't be.Should he?

My friends are always a handful. My teachers suck, especially my English teacher.

Whenever i seem to find a pet, i have to get rid of it one way or another.I'm not pretty.But hey every girl says that about themselves, unless they're conceited.I'm not skinny(hmm girls say that about themselves too huh?) but I'm not fat.I hate that word, fat.Its so mean.

I hate rap.Well rap that is degrading against girls, and rap that talks about sex and drugs.Well no, the drugs i don't care about, but the sex yes.

Books. A book is not a book.That's not to say it doesn't have pages and stuff.But "book" is too boring, it should be called a different world. Reading isn't just for fun.When you read you escape your world and enter somebody else's.If your life is bad just read a book.For a little bit you can at least be a different person and have a better life.That is what books are for me.I don't just love reading, i have to.Cause there are too many problems for me to cope with.After I'm done reading do you want to know why i need a book immediately after? Because i cant stand too many long hours having to go through my life.For a while i can have powers.I can be immortal.I can go on wild adventures.Do anything.Be anything.If you have problems go somewhere and just read.Even better listen to music while you read.You will become deaf to the world, immersed in a dream.Your subconcious will be aware of everything while you read, watching over you.If somebody is talking your subconcious will pull you out of your book so you can pay attention.Trust me ive had experience with this and it always works.

Have you ever felt like your friends are against you?Like if your playing a game and you change around a little but suddenly your so called "friends" just tell you to go away to some other group, but you dont want to so you just stop playing,just stop having fun and go be alone by your self; and try way too hard to keep your tears in to keep cruel words from coming out towards your "friends", feeling more alone than ever, but not telling them how you feel because it will just screw up your friendship....How no matter how hard you try your friends will never be satisfied with just "you"? How if you show your true self , them and everybody who loves you wont like you? How your always trying to be something your not, only being yourself . . . . never. . . How you cant show your true self because then others wouldnt like it? How sometimes you hate your self because you do stupid things, to want to just end it? All of it.Heh, that'd be glorious. To have no more worries, nobody hating you, nobody judging you. . But then i think to myself, how lonely that is. To have nobody hating you yeah but to have nobody either? People say you dont need friends, well what if you have no more family and you need help. Then what? What will you do if you have nothing left? I would rather die than have nobody. Rather die than have nobody to call for help.Rather die than not have a guy to call mine if i dont have friends. If i have friends and a boyfriend, then my life is alright. I mean it could be worse right?

Yes i like to write. Isnt that a cliche, all the people who lke to read also like to write. But there is a difference between writers/authors and people who just like to write. For one thing people who like to write arent very good. Writers/authors make things with words. All the things they type or write down is amazing, the pictures they make inside your head. Even songwriters are writers, with songs they form a story. I dont like to write, i love to write. Why? Because whatever i cant say in real life i can say through typing them or writing them down. That is why im writing this currently. I want everybody to know what im going through, how i bottle it up and only show it once in a while. "Your good at hiding your emotions" a guy once said to me. No duh, i can really hate a person and be nice to them like its no big deal. I can really like someone and be cool around them, unlike others who are skittish and blush around them. Instead i write it down. Write it all down. . then you know what i do with it? I BURN IT. .. Becuase im angry at myself for writing all that poetry, but not showing it. Becuase i hate to read it all over again and feel those emotions all over again.

I feel more alone than ever now. I really do hate my family, really do hate my friends. Its like theyll never grow up. Its like my family is just too different from me. I've always felt different, felt like i could see the world different than others. Liike theyre minds are clouded in a fog, a fog only i could see through. I wouldnt just see things as they are. Hmm. Maybe my imagination just runs wild from all the books. Or maybe it doesnt, i always thought i had a connection with animals and now, whenever i encounter them they seem to like me. Or plants, i always knew how to help make them grow and stuff.But hey im probably really insane or something. I hate people, but ill have to spend the rest of my life dealing with them. Some arent so bad but others...its like they were made just to be stupid.Like i was created to hate people. Yeah im really insane arent i? Oh well, then im at least different from others, see creepy things, imagine weird things, do wacky things. I have wack-attacks so what? Is it that wrong to be different.
Yeah I'll daydream all the time, never really in this world, always in my own world. Making better outcomes, making scenes that'll never happen but make me happy for a minute at least. sometimes I'll write the daydreams down, sometimes they just float around my head teasing, teasing never really coming true. "Stuck in her daydream" yeah that's what I am. "Locked in a haze" yeah. Mix those together and you have my mind. Im always writing a story in my head. A never ending story, a story whose pieces are all over the place, waiting to be put in order. duh that'll never happen. they'll die with me.