I'm not going to deny it anymore.
I care about you.
I care about you way more than I should.
I don't want to but I do.
You frustrate and infuriate me in the worst ways possible
but I just can't seem to get rid of you.
You are in my mind every second of every moment I'm awake.
You're in my dreams when I wish that I wasn't dreaming.
You're in everything I do whether I know it or not.
You are the cause and reliever of my stress and pain.
And I wish you understood how you made me feel.
I wish you understood how broken I am.
I wish you made the effort the same way I do.
I wish you saw me for who I truly am.
A girl who's hurting, scarred, and ugly at the root of it all.
I'm a disgusting, horrible creature that doesn't deserve your attention.
I am a girl who wants nothing more than to be loved.
I am a human who wishes people would just take the time to listen.
Fuck you.
Fuck you for making me feel this way.
I hate you for making me so happy and making me so sad.
I hate you for treating me the way you do.
Like I'm special and beautiful.
I hate you for giving me hope when I know there is none.
I hate you for your hugs and your jokes and the way you stare at me.
I hate you for ruining my life while making it amazing.
I wish I knew how to let you go.
