Picture Perfect | Harry Styles AU

The Peanis Game

Chapter Four

Now I didn't consider myself a violent person, or someone who got caught up in trouble, so my situation seemed all so surreal. Like, this couldn't be happening.

Ms. Peanis sat regally in her chair, looking down the bridge of her long nose at me. She criticized me with her reptilian eyes. Her face looked like Barbie gone-wrong. Her hair was pulled into such a tight bun that all of her features were harshly upturned. I swore that woman was half-lizard. She stretched her slender neck and peered over the edge of the desk, long claws folded together as if in prayer.

The leather of the chair squeaked uncomfortably as I shifted in my seat. To put it simply, my principal gave me the creeps.

"Hello, Alexandria." I bit my lip. I hated it when people used my full name. I couldn't help noticing her unsettling lisp when she slurred the "x" in my name like a snake. Definitely a reptile. She unfolded her spidery fingers and rested them in her lap. "Harry." She gave a slight nod to acknowledge his presence.

Harry sat slumped in his seat observing his nails while I probably looked like I had a metal pole taped to my spine. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans.

Ms. Peanis continued, "Now, I do not tolerate any sort of violence in my school. I would not be wasting my time if this was not true, but a teacher came to me with the report that he walked into his classroom only to find the two of you attacking one another." She paused. "This is public assault and it is unacceptable."

Public assault? That seemed a little ridiculous to me.

"Ms. Johnson," I piped up. "I was simply sitting in my seat, minding my own business, when-"

"Did I ask you to speak, Miss Schultz?" She interjected sternly. I saw a smile play across Harry's lips in my peripheral. I shrunk down a bit. I'd slug him in the face afterward.

"Listen, I do not care who started this. You have both managed to thoroughly disrupt your class." She gestured with her index finger to each of us. "I do not know how many times I must iterate this to students: You break the rules and you must face the consequences. And sit up, Mr. Styles, your posture is atrocious." He straightened reluctantly.

No one messed with Ms. Peanis. I mean, you'd think she'd get a lot of crap with a last name like that, but all you had to do was see her striding through the halls towering over everyone and anyone and that would be enough to shit your pants. She was like the school principal from the Black Lagoon.

"Since the two of you have not managed to comply with the rules you will be given a detention for the next two weeks. And I am being extremely generous."

Generous? Maybe it would've been generous if the only other alternative was being burned in the eternal flames of damnation in hell! Who did she think she was?!

"Wait, Ms. Penis-I mean Peanis," her gaze sizzled at me. "But I have plans-"

"Miss Schultz, you should know by now that you should only speak when spoken to!" I clenched my jaw.

I leaned forward in my seat, gripping the armrests. "But honestly-"

"That. Is. Enough." She slurred the "s" in "is" even longer than usual and I cringed back against the chair.

I had to get myself out of this. I couldn't go to detention! I had a life! I visualized Frenchie as she waited for me at the nail salon but I never showed up. Oh my God, what would my dad do if he caught wind of this? He'd kill me for sure. Harry was effectively ruining my entire life!  Might as well say goodbye to my social life now.

Ms. Peanis then gave us the typical you-know-better lecture that lasted what seemed like 164,387,374 minutes. I made a note to check for any grey hair on the way out. As scary as she was I felt sleep pulling at my eyelids. She basically explained that we were irresponsible, but somehow achieved the feat of reiterating that in twenty-seven different ways.