my heart, my soul » namjin

4. Accept Me

I woke up suddenly, the bedroom window was cracked open with the gentle breeze blowing the translucent curtains around. I looked to find Namjoon was no longer next to me. He usually disappeared at random late in the night or early morning. He explained to me that he still had priorities to fulfill as a demon. I understood that, I didn't make a fuss about it. It would be nice to know when he leaves but it's fine that he doesn't let me know. It gives me time alone to savor in my thoughts, which haven't been normal lately. I found myself losing my train of thought more frequently now. Part of it, I felt, was because of Namjoon. Ken's words always came to me about the three's, the so called spell Namjoon put upon me. It scared me. How much more could Namjoon manipulate? Do I truly want to love him and give him everything or is that something Namjoon implanted into my brain. Is this all some false reality? A hum caught my attention, I knew it wasn't Namjoon because his humming was lower and not quite as light. I followed the noise, finding myself pushing the window further open and glancing out only to find a figure humming while walking further away.

What are you waiting for?

"Hold on, w-wait!" I stumbled. I sprinted to my front door, something in that voice was persuasive. It was hard to ignore it. So much so that I ran out of my apartment only in a large black shirt and no shoes. I had to hurry and follow before I lost the figure. The figure with a beautiful humming voice and tone as sweet as sugar. I kept running, failing to catch my breath when the figure disappeared. I frowned deeply, looking around only to see that I was in the same spot I was the last time I was here. When I was lured from my walk into the forest to meet that beautiful boy. Could that figure have been him? He said he wanted to see me again. Ken showed up in a dream the night after that incident. We were in a meadow, he taught me how to make flower crowns. The memory made me smile softly.

"Now you intertwine the stems, like that." Ken smiled kindly, guiding my fingers to properly make a flower crown. My heart raced faster as his fingers ran up my arm after showing me the steps. I froze, eyeing his movements but he didn't seem to note it. He casually placed the crown atop of my head and grinned widely. "Beautiful."

"The flower is a pretty kind." I met his eyes, complimenting the flowers that sat upon my hair.

"I was talking about you." My breath hitched at the sudden remark, looking away with a bright blush that he surely caught.

"I think it's best you try to refrain from making such statements, Namjoon wouldn't be pleased." I tried to reason, more so to myself rather than him. Ken only leaned in closer to me, gently twisting a strand of my hair. He was on his knees across from where I was sitting criss-crossed.

"I could care less about what pleases that demon. The only thing that matters in this very moment is that I have you here with me." Ken then lifted my chin up with his two fingers, eyeing my face. "How could someone so magnificent fall into the hands of someone so vile and crude?"

I wanted to pull away but I didn't. The way Ken spoke of Namjoon made my stomach swirl, not with butterflies but with anger. Namjoon was a demon so he had to take part in many evil things but at the end of the day he came back to me and, no matter what, always made sure I was happy and content. I haven't felt happiness in quite a long time. Namjoon was the one to bring the said emotion back to me. It was him.

"I'm afraid that I've crossed a line. I'm very sorry for being so inconsiderate, love." For some reason the word coming from his tongue made me want to shrink away. I felt weak and exposed. "Well, I'll see you soon. I better let you go before Namjoon figures out that I've managed to sneak into your little dream realm." Ken smiled brightly, the smile that had me give one in return. "See you soon, my dear." He carressed my face before him and the meadow blew away slowly. I went to reach out for him but he was no longer with me, I was now in a dark abyss.