Cry For Me

Charisma

Lyric O'ryan

Numb. That's all I feel. I am both mentally and physically numb. I don't even know how I feel about almost getting raped. Shit, this is not even the first time he tried.

those other times he had tried my father has stopped him, at least my dad has boundaries. I have been walking for hours, I am no longer where the rich white people live,

I am now deep in the ghetto slums. It's funny how I've never been down here and I already feel safer in this area than I do in my own house. At home, I had to always keep my guard up

So I taught myself how to fight and boy how I could fight. After a while, I started to hit my father back but I found out the more I struggled or moved the worse it would get so I reverted back to just taking it.

Pathetic I know. Playing with my craving knife I blindly walk the streets of the hood not paying attention to the drug dealers and bums calling out to me.

I still have one agenda on my mind for me today, and that is to die.
I laugh at how sick I sound in my head to myself out loud causing even some of the crack fiends to look at me crazy.

"That's because you are crazy." My self-conscience says to me.

"No, you are," I speak out loud not caring if people were watching me.

"But I am you, you stupid fuck." She replies back while laughing like a damn hyena in my head.

"Well......damn," I say, not having a comeback.

After the little conversation that I have with the fat bitch in my mind, everything goes quiet as I humm an old 2pac song to myself.

Pretty soon I come face to face with a deserted park. It looked amazing. One swing with graffiti written all over it, two slides with gum sticking on both of them, and it's a sitting area resting directly in front of what looked like to be a school.

It looked amazing to me only because I have not been to the park since my mom left and this is the perfect place for me to die.

Sitting down on one of the benches across from the tall building, I look up to the sky and stare at the stars. I am finally at peace.

Doing the one thing I have been waiting for all my life, I sing happy birthday while placing the knife on my left wrist

Pretending that it was a lighter and that my wrist was a candle ready to lighten up.

As the blood leaks from the deep shallow cut on my wrist, I cut the other one so that they could be twins.

I always wanted a twin. At that thought, I laugh and shake my head because if I had a twin it will be like looking in a mirror that's always around

And I would eventually start to hate her. Probably even try to kill her who knows.

The blood from both of my wounds is starting to make puddles in the grass around me. I smile at that.

"It won't be long now," I whisper to myself. Knowing that I lost a lot of blood earlier makes me happy because this will go faster.

I'm not surprised that I was up and moving after that beating and the amount of blood I had lost because I am used to it. Being active and being in pain.

I laugh once again at my own thoughts.

"No more being active. No more being in pain." With that being said I blackout.

----
Deshawn Braxton

After I sold a couple more rocks to the crack fiends and the druggies, I decided to take a walk around my old neighborhood.