The Black and The Rainbow

The Happiness

P.O.V. Phil

I get her in my arms first. Which is what I want. She is beautiful, she looks like Dan, she is so amazing. Already. I immediately start doubting about how she will turn out. Will she be like Thomas or will she be completely different? I mean she is a girl, not that I don't like girls, but I have no experience. Well I do, but I grew up with an older brother and I'm married to a guy, so am I going to be able to help her? Is she going to love me more or Dan? Will she be mad at us for adopting her, at me for leaving her mother?

"Hey? Phil? What's wrong?"

"Nothing Rose."

"I know you don't love me, but I do love you and I know that face. You're worried. What's on your mind?"

"What if she turns out horrible, or if she's mad at me or Dan for leaving you and taking her away from you? What if she doesn't love me? What if she doesn't love Dan?"

"She will. Calm down. She is your child and your an amazing father. I know because I have seen you in action. You practically raised Thomas, I was constantly working. So you got this."

"But now what?"

"Phil, you can do anything now. You're free and together with the person you love the most. So do things you have always wanted to do."

"Like what?"

Suddenly Dan enters the room with a huge smile on his face and joins the conversation

"Like get a dog."

"You think I can do that?"

"You took care of Thomas for five years and now I'm also officially involved. We can get a dog, finally."

I start shining with happiness, finally the moment I have been waiting for. I have always wanted a dog.

"Phil? You have to take care of it too, you understand that right? It's not going to be only hugging."

"I know. I know!"

I try to hug Dan, but he's now holding Jamie. I look into her eyes and see a little sparkle. She is perfect, she will always be. She will love us, I'll make sure of that, not in evil way though. I look into her eyes again and then in Dan's. I remember how sad, empty and lonely they looked earlier today, but now I see love, happiness and that same sparkle. She is a little version of him and that is why I'm sure I'll love her, take care of her and that she will be the most perfect human being in this world. Just as perfect as her brother and her non-biological dad. In that moment I want to give her everything I have and more. I want to show her everything I own, I made and everything I did in my live so far. Where I came from, how I've come so far. I want her to life a live so perfect that I will be jealous of it. I don't want to be controlling, but I will help her in every way I can. I will love her no matter what. I will love her now and forever, to my last breath I will love all three of them. Jamie, Thomas and Dan. I always thought Dan came first in my life, but now he comes after Jamie and Thomas, not because I love them more, but because they have an entire live ahead of them, and we're already half way or even further. Maybe it's nearly over, you never know. Jamie is our little miracle. When she grows old I will buy her a house of gold. I will make her queen of everything she sees and I'll put her on the map.

"Phil?"

"Huh? Yes?"

"We need to sign the adoption papers and then we can maybe take her home."

"But the baby room isn't ready yet."

"It is. I was hiding it from you, but Thomas, your mum, your dad and I have been working on it for about five moths."

"You did? You bastard! I love you."

"Love you too."

We kiss each other and look at Jamie as Thomas bursts in the room

"I want to see her! Can I hold her?"

"Of course, but you have to be very careful."

"I will danny."

"Danny?"

"Well I have two dads now and I call one daddy already, so I call the other one danny, because his name is Dan. Right?"

"Yes, it is. I like it."

"But you told me you weren't cool enough to pull off that nickname."

"Well, if Thomas thinks I am, I am. Right?"

"Yes! Now let me hold her!"

"Calm down you little needy man."

"Sorry."

"No it's okay, only this time. No wait actually it's always okay. Because you're perfect the way you are."

"I just want to hold her."

Dan hands Jamie to Thomas like she is a diamond that can save lives when you touch it. Thomas holds her like she is a unicorn running on a rainbow. Something he is only going to see once, and will always remember and holds her close to his heart. I look at them and I think of how perfect my life is now. Dan always used to say that he could die because his life was complete, it never was, but I think now it's finally complete. If I had to die now, it would be okay because I would be surrounded by all the people I love. Of course it would hurt them, but I would die smiling because I'm happy and from now on I will always be happy. No matter what happens. We will always be there to protect her or get her through hard times. Because there will be hard times, of course there will. She has two YouTube famous dads and they are gay. That's pretty good stuff for the press and for bullies. I just don't want her to hate her life because of all the paparazzi and all the rumours. We will try to keep her out of all those troubles.

"Dan?"

"Yes?"

"Do we want the world to know about her? I mean our phans and if we do, do we take her and Thomas with us on potential tours?"

"Phil, we don't need to worry about that now. Thomas is five and Jamie is about one hour or two hours old. First lets see if we can get her home."

"You're right. I'll go and talk to a doctor."

A few test and results later we're in the car. I'm driving, Dan's holding Jamie and Thomas is trying to not fall asleep in his seat. When we arrive I get Thomas out of the car, his head resting on my shoulder, a little snoring. He is so cute. We enter the house and put them both to bed.

"I love them so much already and I just became their father."

"You were Thomas father for five months now. But I get what you're saying. I love them too, so much."

"To bad we had to miss the reception. I realm looked forward to, well the cake and the big screen Sims."

"We could shoot an last part of the vlog."

"Okay. Let's do it."

"Okay, so we can't show you the entire wedding because of a thing that happend after the ceremony. Rose, my ex-wife went into labour."

"To make a long story short, we now have a daughter. Jamie Rosie Louise Tabitha Lester-Howell. That's her full name, but we will call her Jamie."

"But we have to ask you something."

"What? Oh right. Take it away Phil."

"We want to ask you to not freak out over Jamie and make her life difficult, because we know how impressive you can be, and we love it don't get me wrong, but Jamie is only three hours old and we just don't want her to live her life another way than she should because of our phanily. So please."

"Please respect our privacy and that of our kids. I know you're going to freak out and that's why we're not going to be uploading for a while to let you get used to the thought of us being married and having a family together. It is actually happening. Phan is real!"

I tuen off the camera and put it down. We look to Jamie as she sleeps and we both fall in love with her. She is lying there so peaceful and happy, while she sleeps. Not knowing what is going to happen in her live. I wish we knew...