I, The Cat

interlude (4)

Kitten.

What is this strange... Thing?

"Kitty, c'mon. You have to eat something."

Kind One has brought me to his humble abode. I checked. No other competition. Maybe I can call this home? Almost immediately after we arrived, he scooped me up to the torture room.

Horrifying, dreadful experience. But I now smell very nice. Forgiven.

Then he let me roam around and pick my "corner". The poof bags are nice. Mama says we must learn from our past mistakes. My mistake could have been that I was on the sofa. Therefore, we must avoid the sofa.

But alas, we have met a dead end. Unfamiliar food has been set in front of me and I am perfectly frightened.

Oh, but does it smell heavenly!

Should we... Or should we not?

I hear a sigh and my ears droop, is he disappointed?

So I look up. He is scratching his head and kneels down with a funny object in hand.

"Okay, maybe it's too hot for you." He uses this contraption of his and it goes into the supposedly edible material.

Oh, my.

IT COMES APART?

WAIT. IS THAT ITS SOUL I SEE COMING OUT?!

OH NO.

We must run.

-2 hours later-

Maize.

I have identified this food. Yes, it is edible.

Yes, I ate it.

According to him, it was called "steam". I have consulted my friendly neighbour and she says "steam" is not the soul; it is, in fact, water in a different form. So, imagine water can fly.

Also, the material he calls "egg". It was not alive in the first place. Through the same round of consultation, I have learnt that "egg" is the baby of our favourite bird. In conclusion, "egg" is edible because there are too many chickens being annoying in the morning.

Maybe if we eat more "egg", they would stop waking me up and be pooping everywhere.

Therefore, eating "egg" will reduce world hunger, reduce noise pollution and make the world a cleaner place. Also, it will bring world peace because an angry Maize in the morning can bring world destruction.

That is all. Goodnight to all the lonely humans as Maize sleeps with My Human scratching my ears.