I wake up in Blakes arms the next morning. "Are you awake?" I ask but then I hear him breathing slowly. I carefully unwrap myself then get up. I put on some underwear and a bra and a t shirt then walk out of my room quietly closing the door behind me. I walk downstairs and see chuck sitting on the sofa. "What time is it?" I ask. "10:30" she says. I sit next to her. "I slept with Blake last night, finally." "You did?!? That's good!" She says way too cheery. "Yeah" I laugh. "Did you sleep any?"
"I did for like 30 minutes after we had sex then I just stayed up the rest of the night on my phone." "You need to sleep more." Chuck says. "I agree. I'm gonna go see Amelia." I said getting up. It's Saturday so she has no school.
I walk into Amelia's room. "Mom have you never heard of knocking?" She rolls her eyes. She's on her laptop. "Yes but I don't want to." I smile then sit next to her. "Whatcha up to today?" I ask. "Nothing. Alex can't hangout today." "Don't you have girlfriends?" I laugh. "Yeah but I don't want to see them. They just want to go to the mall, stupid stuff." "You sound like me when I was your age!" "Except you turned to alcohol, drugs and parties." She laughs. I laugh too "not funny. But you're right." I nod.
"Are you doing ok mom?" She asks. "Yeah. I'm ok." I nod. "I know you miss him." Amelia frowns. "I do. A lot." "I wish I wasn't so mean to him the last time I talked to him.." she mumbles. "You didn't know Amelia. I mean that's a good lesson to learn but you can't go around feeling guilty." "Neither can you mom. I know you think it's your fault.." "I do and I don't. Because I shouldn't have just cut him off. I should have talked to him about it then left it be. The drugs part I get, he was an addict. And he couldn't beat it. That wasn't my fault. Do I wish I were there to stop him? Yes. But I know how drugs work. That's why I always pray you stay away from them. It might seem cool now but it's not so cool when you're dead."
Amelia's face gets pale, she nods "I've only tried weed. That's it. And I don't even smoke all the time. The last time I did was like a few weeks ago...we mostly just drink and not even to get drunk sometimes." I'm so happy she's finally opening up to me, I think it's because of Jimmy. "That's good to hear. Although I don't condone weed. And only drinking once in a while turns into every day then a few bottles a day...I was an alcoholic and I just don't want you to be ok? You're a smart girl Amelia, I trust you."
"Thanks mom. I know. Don't worry I have it under control. I promise. Don't tell dad any of this please? He'll go crazy if he knows!" She says frowning. "I won't. If you just promise me you're going to be smart about this ok? And being smart about being sexually active." "Okay. I promise. I will." She nods. I hold my arms out. She hugs me tight. I kiss her head and hug her tighter. "I'm going to get ready now." I said getting up. "To go where?" Amelia asks. "I'm going over to jimmys house. I've been helping chris pack."
"I want to come!" "I don't know babe.." "why not?!?" "I don't know if your dad would want you to." "Why?! It's just jimmys house. That's stupid. I want to go." She said folding her arms. "Okay. Be ready in 15 minutes ok?" "Ok!" She says jumping up. I shake my head then walk to my room.
. I'm in the bathroom getting ready when Blake wakes up. "Where you going babe?" He asked. "Jimmys house. I have to help pack." "Again?!" "Yeah. We didn't pack a lot." "Okay. Are you going to go over there everyday until it's packed?" "Most every day." I nod. He gets up and yawns then walks over to me, I smile at him while he kisses my cheek "I love you." He smiles. "I love you too." I say. He gets in the shower while I finish my makeup.
"Babe I'm leaving. I'll be home later ok?" I yell in the bathroom to Blake. "Ok babe, see yuh."
"Amelia are you ready?" I ask walking into her rom. "Yep! I'm ready." She grins.
We just got to jimmys house. "It's weird to be here and he's not..." Amelia says. I nod "I agree."
We get out and walk up to the door, I search for my key in my bag then the door opens "hey guys." Chris smiles. "Hey!" I smile back. We hug then he hugs Amelia "how're you Amelia?" "I'm okay. Thanks" she smiles. We walk inside. "Where do we start today?" I ask. "Bedroom. Where we left off!" Chris says. I nod then Amelia and I follow him to jimmys room.
"How come Amelia decided to come?" Chris asks us both. "I wanted to help. Plus I've never really seen his house before, just once." Chris smiles then looks at me. I shrug my shoulders "well that's nice. Thanks for the help I could definitely use it." "Welcome" she smiles.
"Lana do you know where Amelia is?!?! Shes not home." Blake texts me. Oh shit I forgot to tell him. "Yes she's with me. I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you." I text back. "She's at jimmys? Why?" "I don't know. She said she wanted to come and help." "Ok..that's weird. But okay. Will you guys be home for dinner?" "Yes. I'll be home in time to make it. Cya later." "Okay. Love you, cya."
"Hey Look mom"Amelia says holding up a Polaroid, I squint my eyes, then finally see it "oh my god give me that!" I laugh and snatch it from her.she laughs. "What is it?!" Chris asks. "It's a Polaroid of me in my bra and underwear holding a bottle of jack Daniels." I said rolling my eyes. "Sounds like something Jimmy would have." Chris says. "Shut up!" I shake my head. "Gross" Amelia laughs. I put the Polaroid in my purse and shake my head.
Amelia and I just got home. It's 4:30 pm. I'm about to start dinner. "Hey guys! You're finally back!" Blake says hugging Amelia as we walk in. "Hey dad" she smiles. Then Blake hugs me "hey babe." "How was packing?" He asked. " good. Long." I said. "Good! Well I already made dinner so it's ready if you guys are hungry." "You did? Thanks babe! I was going to. I'm starving! " I say. "Me too! Thanks dad." Amelia grins. "Of course. Come on let's go eat."
Blake and I are in the kitchen cleaning up. Amelia is upstairs doing her homework. I'm cleaning off some dishes. "I'm guessing this was at jimmys?" I hear Blake say, I turn around confused, to see him holding up the Polaroid of me in my bra and underwear holding a bottle of jack. "Yeah. It was." I said. "Our wedding ring looks great in that picture." He says sarcastically. Throwing it on the table. "Blake You're really not mad about that are you? It's just a stupid picture."
"Well one you're almost naked, two, we were married then but I already knew that. And three you told me you haven't had one drink in 5 years so." He said folding his arms. "Ok. I'm sorry. It's stupid. This is stupid." I said walking up to him. "When was the last time you drank?" He asked. "Blake come on." "No. When was the last time?" "A few days before I cut Jimmy off."
"So not that long ago. At all. Not even a month ago. Did you just get drunk with him all the time? While you were cheating you would drink too?" "No blake. We didn't drink all the time. Please just leave this be ok? I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that big of a deal." "Nothing is to you apparently." He said walking towards the kitchen door. I grab his arm "stop Blake. I'm sorry. Ok? I really am. I'm sorry. Im sober and you know it. I didn't even turn to drinking when Jimmy died." He just stands there not looking at me.
"Come on. Let's just go to sleep we're both tired and stressed out." I said. He shakes his head and walks out of the kitchen, I follow him
Upstairs to our room. We both change then we get into bed. I scoot over to him and kiss his cheek "Blake" I said tapping on his shoulder. "What." He says. "I love you." Then I kiss cheek again. He just sits there staring at the ceiling "I said I loveeeee you" "I love you too annoying." He says turning over. I smile then turn off the light.
