Five Seconds Later

Chapter Nineteen: The Family

For a little while, life resembled something next to normal. 

Mandy, Tyler, and Garth made frequent runs at least once a day to keep supplies up. Alex and Claire spent their evenings watching what appeared to be Dean's secret obsession – old recordings of the Vampire Diaries that no one else was known to have saved. Sam, Charlie, Anaise, and Lacey worked to fence off the area surrounding the bunker to keep walkers from getting too close. Jo was the one who always did inventory, so now the job was Katharine's, who was slipping into a depression brought on by Ron's death. Dean was coming out of his, with the help of Cas. They spent all their spare time together, usually in the library by the fire in silence, sometimes on the roof in dizzied daydreams of conversation.

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean told him once, lying on the roof with his back to the sun and his chin balanced in his good hand. Cas rolled over on his side, his trench coat creased with a litany of wrinkles.

"For what, Dean?" he queried, closing his eyes as he lay there peacefully. The days were getting shorter now, and colder – in only another twenty minutes, they both would need to be back inside the bunker to avoid either freezing or attracting walkers.

"For not saying I love you." Dean sighed, his face twisting into a frown. Cas sat up, buttoning up his coat as a cold wind swept their way.

"You mean when you didn't say it once... two months ago?" Cas gave Dean's forehead a gentle kiss while Dean stared blankly ahead, tears welling in his eyes.

"You know you didn't do anything wrong, right Dean?" Cas leaned back down and settled on his stomach so he could face Dean properly. "But I forgive you anyway, if you'll stop being sorry for it."

"I love you, Cas." Dean whispered. The wind nearly stole away his words, but Cas was close enough to hear them. Clouds were gathering overhead in preparation for a storm, and he heard the distant rumble of thunder.

"I love you more, Dean." Cas lowered his voice and moved closer, balancing his weight on his elbows. The two of them looked ridiculous, lying on their stomachs with their hair tangled by the fierce winds and faces flushed from the cold. With Dean, Cas didn't notice any of it.

"You wish." Dean gave Cas a quick kiss and forced a small smile. "We'll settle this later, but we should head back inside."

"Fine." Cas helped him up, tentatively interlacing his fingers with Dean's. For a moment the two stood there on the roof, staring at the mass of winter clouds in the distance.

"When the night has come, and the land is dark... and the moon, is the only light we'll see..."

Cas watched as the clouds were illuminated by various hues from the fading sunset, setting early in accordance with the winter season.

"No I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid... just as long, as you stand... stand by me."

***

"Cas, can I have a word with you?" Sam waved him over as soon as the pair were inside and drying off. The rain had started while they had been up there, failing at dancing and making fun of themselves in the process.

"What is it?" Cas shed his trench coat by the door and adjusted his crooked tie. "Is it something of import?"

"Kind of." Sam echoed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "Can you follow me to the study?"

"Of course." Cas nodded and gave Dean's hand a loving squeeze before letting go. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Alright." Dean's face was a mask of no feeling, but as soon as Sam's back was turned, he gave Cas a little wink. This was how it was for them – it made Dean more secure to have their relationship be somewhat secretive, and Cas was happy to play along. 

"See you then."

***

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Cas asked as he and Sam entered the study together, books of every sort lining their path. It was still a mess from someone unleashing their fury in it last month – there were no confessions to who it was, but it was evident from the mess of bottles strewn in the doorway.

"I need your help with something." Sam was clearly nervous – the lumbering moose he was, he knocked over three stacks of books by taking one step in the wrong direction. "I know you don't have much power left, and I know you're saving it for something special."

"I really only have enough left for one action." Cas sighed. "My grace has been draining since the first time we instigated the apocalypse – for once, it hasn't been our fault – but I've never gotten Metatron to restore it completely."

"See, that's where the problem is..." Sam rubbed his chin awkwardly and sat down at a nearby table, patting the next seat over for Cas. "I got a call just a few minutes ago from California."

"California?" Cas gazed at Sam quizzically. "I had heard that it was ravaged."

"It is." Sam stammered, glancing down at the table to avoid making eye contact with Cas. "It was from Jess."

"I thought she died in the same fashion your mother did, right after you picked up hunting again?" Cas was even more confused now, his blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"That much is true." Sam pulled out his phone and set it tentatively on the table, as though it were a grenade. "But... after the apocalypse started... I thought that maybe there was a chance the reapers would be in a state of shock from all the deaths and the confusion of soul storage. I've been trying for years to bargain with one of them for Jess back in the place of myself, since it was my fault she died, with no luck."

"What is it with you Winchesters blaming yourselves for the unpreventable deaths of others?" Cas glared at Sam, only to be silenced with a shake of the head.

"One of the reapers took the bait last week. She said she would bring Jess back for me in return for my soul, but I'm still here and Jess is too. She called me freaking out, but she's all the way in California and I can't go get her."

"What are you asking me for?" Cas narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"I need you to teleport to California and bring her here for me." Sam pleaded, covering his face with his hands. "I know it's selfish and stupid and I shouldn't have done it but... seeing you and Dean together... I-"

"Sam, it's okay." Cas took the phone and scrolled through the messages, searching for a clue to Jess' exact location. "How are you going to explain this to everyone?"

"I don't know." Sam's face was red and tears were streaming down his face as he pulled his hands away. "I shouldn't have done it, I feel like shit... I know Dean is going to hate me for it and... and..."

"He most certainly won't." Cas set the phone back down and rubbed Sam's shoulder comfortingly. "I'll see to it that he doesn't."

"It's not even worth using up the last of your power." Sam wept, his hands shaking as they reached back up to cover his face. "I'm so sorry, Cas."

"Hey, hey." Cas frowned, standing up and coming to Sam' side. "Listen – I would do anything for you. You're family. I'll leave to get Jess right now, but you need to tell Dean before I teleport back – and it won't be long."

"Thanks, Cas." Sam mumbled, his face swollen with tears. Cas sensed a deep frustration inside of him, coupled with a crippling bout of self-disappointment. "I owe it to you."

"You might not have much longer to make it up to me." Cas gave Sam a quick hug before stepping away, his gaze stern. "I sure hope I'm wrong."