Chapter seventeen...

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I was taken back to the house in Matthew's arms. Even after having slept peacefully I was still exhausted. He carried me back home and placed me onto the sofa, I refused to loosen my hold on him. He's either staying here or walking around with a 16 year old clinging to him. I won the silent battle and he lay down on the leather sofa with me, hugging me still. I lay in front of him, facing his chest as I drifted away into blackness.

I thought about it all, Matthew, Henry, my family that I left.

Matthew Johnson, my saviour. Even only knowing him for about a month while I was in London it's like he can read me better than anyone. I used to think I held a good façade and that I had walls high enough to keep myself safe. Ever since becoming deaf I had left a lot of people but he didn't treat me any different than if I could... granted we may not have met if I wasn't.

Henry Crane, my brother, the one who is supposed to care. He is 19, almost 20 now, and I love him but I don't know... does he love me? He has ignored me and left me to fend for myself, I don't want to confront him because that would get him angry. He changed... we both changed after mum and dad died. He surrounded himself with happy things and I... well I abandoned everything.

The family I do have, they hate me. That's not strictly true actually. Aunt Maggie and Uncle Tim like us although the girls, eh not so much. They are fine with Henry, he doesn't really pay them any attention so they leave him be. But me, oh the fun they have with me just takes the piss.

A few hours later after a long ass nap I'm pulled from my sleep. I groan and roll around, I crack open my eyes and see Matthew staring down at me.

Good lord...

I think I've died and gone to heaven.

Oh my lordy... his bed hair. Wait, sofa hair? Cuddle hair?

I don't even care because I spent a few hours cuddling with the, in my opinion, hottest guy.

"You need to get up, there's food and I can't feel my arm." He says, I bet his has a husky voice right now... Why me? Why can't I fucking hear anything?

'Okay' I sign and roll off the sofa, landing on my ass. Standing slowly I realise it's now dark outside, damn how long did we sleep. I walk into the kitchen and spot Henry and Aunt Maggie chatting, casually leaning on the island.

They both look at me as I walk in. Henry looks relieved, as does Maggie.

"Please don't do that again." Henry says, walking to me.

'This is home.' I sign.

"No, Josh it's not home anymore. Home is at Aunt Maggie's." he spoke, reaching a hand to touch my arm. I flinched away from him.

'No.' I sign, he opens his mouth but I continue. 'It can be home for you but not me, I hate living like that. Here I'm alone and can do anything.'

"But you can't stay here. We aren't together." He said, looking hurt...

What? He doesn't want me to live here because he won't be with me...? HOLD ON WHAT?

I glance and see a notebook on the kitchen island, oh this kid.

I rush and grab it, writing quickly. 'I don't care if you're not here. You haven't been there for me for ages, I am so alone and sad you have no idea. I leave the house a lot because Matthew is the only one who actually fucking cares. We talk and I don't feel stressed or anxious or like I'm being an idiot! You need to check yourself because right now you're doing a pretty shitty job of being with me.'

I finish and shove the pad into his chest and storm out the house. I rush into the garden and kick at the tree, I start to punch it after a moment.

My hands are bleeding but one is halted half way to another punch, I look and see a larger hand wrapped around my fist. I follow the arm, spotting familiar tattoos and finally reach Matthew's face. He looks worried, his free hand moves to gently cup my face. I close my eyes as his warm palm comes into contact with my cheek. I reopen them as he unclenches my fist and pulls me into his chest, I almost immediately cling onto the back of his shirt and begin to cry softly.

I'm such a wimp... stop fucking crying.

Jesus, I'm such a drag. Why does he even stick around?

I bet anyone who saw us together hates me... oh god the whole of London is going to be out to get me.

I'm brought from my thoughts as Matthew grabs my thighs, a silent signal for me to hold onto him. I comply and wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

This...

This is home...

With Matthew,

I'm... safe.

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