dear anyone who cares

this is a letter to anyone who care's NOT a suicide letter but close enough to one i guess don't read just to trigger yourself contains suicide self harm ect ect ect blah blah blah

you don't know what this feels like, how could you?.every morning i wake up i have to look at MY disgusting fucking face,you don't .i have to get ready for 7 and a hald misrable hours of torture .then come home and be left alone in thought

i can't just take a fucking selfie and post it .i can't stand my own reflection so how could you ? you can't its awful ,ugly,fat,disgusting,vunrable,discracefull,needy,stupid

,need I go on ??? So now let get this going from the begging ...when I leave the house ...i walk in a disgusting uniform that makes me feel even more shit about my self ..then I wait int he freezing cold waiting for the bus having a smoke then wait by myself for about 10-15 minute still my like only friend gets on then have small talk then i get to school and recive a few mean comments go out to my 2 friends .go in for class at 8 45 listin to the teachers shout at me for not wearing the uniform.....leave only for the vice princable and pricable give me a speech then get some more detentions that i wont go to...then shot at them defending my self .....go to class and get shouted at again for not doing the the homework get my 24th no homework note .

Defend myself for it,get yelled at a little more for being cheeky.shout at them,win the arguments .sit there waiting for class to be over.get told to partisipate ,take out an A4 pad and write fan fiction to make it look like im working .if the teacher leaves get called some names or get a table thrown at me or trough 1.pretend to care want teacher is yamering oh about.leave go out for brake sit alone if friends arnt in.trow lunch in the bin .go back into class.same rutein .get on school bus .45 minutes of being made fun of,make a smoke .get of the bus with my big brother,light my cancer stick.walk the rest if the way trough a 'dangerious' estate .drop the smoke walk in get changed,listin to kids screeching.get dress.re-do make up wait for someone intresting to call over(a friend) talk wait till they leave go to bed eairly .slit my wrists,stomach,thighs,back,arms,and sometimes my trough.clean up the blood .go to sleep get woken up and start the fucking poxy godamn suicidal depressingly emotionally and physically draining day again.

(A.N I know it was boring I just wanted to write it to get it out there why im always so depressed and shit so yeah sorry if you were hoping for something diffrent ,this is 100% TRUE blah blah blah.rate comment share excetra excetra excetra.)