Driving Doctor Mayhem

[27] Never Alone

As I was loading the umpteenth bag into the buggy while Doc was playing Sudoku, my mother scurried up, looking incredibly frazzled. For someone who's paid to make ladies' hair fall just-so, hers sure was a mess.

"Ma!" I choked nervously, "What are you doing here?"

"Banksy? Uh, one of the spinny chairs in the salon malfunctioned, and Mrs. Goldfaarb sprained her ankle. I'm hoping that if I ice her poor, poor foot--which isn't even that hurt, she's just melodramatic--and if I promise her a lifetime supply of stale salon lollipops, she won't sue or whatever. You know, rich people love suing for stuff; it makes for very good daytime television." She said this all in one breath, before pausing to wheeze for air. "Well, see ya," she added, taking off towards the register, cradling her bag of ice.

I blinked, dumbfounded. "Okay. Bye."

Halfway there, she stopped mid-step and turned around slowly, her maternal instincts kicking into gear, I would assume. "Wait, what are you doing here?" She started pacing towards me. "Getting gargantuan amounts of ice? On a weekday afternoon? Alone?"

Damn. "What? I'm not alone," I smiled, turning around to where Doc was supposed to be. What greeted me would have been a welcome sight in pretty much any other situation: he'd vanished.

She arched an eyebrow, befuddled.

"I mean," I added, snatching up his half-finished puzzle, "you're never truly alone when you have Sudoku."

Oh my God, even I want to punch me in the face right now.

She pursed her lips skeptically, but, short on time, nodded, zipping back to the register. I was drawing a deep, calming breath in an attempt to lower my heart rate, when Doc popped back up from behind the buggy. "Is she gone?"

Rolling my eyes, I sneered, "Nope, she's still standing here," in my most teenager-y voice. "Why'd you hide?"

He grinned a little, but ignored my question, racing the precariously full buggy to the checkout lines in the opposite direction of my mother, and nearly hitting a couple passersby.

"Doc! Why'dya need all that ice?"

He knocked over a magazine display.

"Hey!"