Driving Doctor Mayhem

[24] About Last Night

Part of me knew that I owed Cricket at least a partial explanation of what all had gone down the night before. I wasn't planning on telling him, though, because I knew he wouldn't understand. He would give me advice, I wouldn't take it, and the only thing that would end up changed would be our blood pressures.

Then, I came home to a silent house and realized that the night had been hilarious. A failure on almost all counts, but hilarious, nonetheless.

The next afternoon, I wandered into Dairy Queen, sheepishly holding a chocolate tin behind my back. The place was filled with customers, the tail end of the Sunday afternoon crowd, so I sat in one of the back booths, waiting for things to inevitably die down.

Once they did, Cricket came over and plopped into the booth across from mine. He leaned his elbows on the table. "I've done some thinking, right? And I've decided that you don't have to tell me anything. About last night, I mean."

"Are we skipping past the chocolates? Because I brought you chocolates." I motioned to the tin. "These chocolates."

"You didn't have to, Banksy."

"Don't flatter yourself or anything; they're half eaten."

He broke into a smile, accepting the tin with his signature Gracious Head Nod.

"Okay, you broke me down, Cricket--I'm going to tell you about last night. But only because you begged me--"

"I didn't beg you--"

"You did. And it was so unbecoming that I pitied you and thought maybe, just maybe, telling you the story of my wonderful night would be a bright spot in your otherwise meaningless existence."

"Cheeky!" he grinned, popping the top off the tin.

"I want to tell you about last night, Cricket," I laughed. "It was freaking hilarious."

"I think I missed that part."

I started grabbing more chocolates since they were already out in the open. This was a big container, mind you.

"I will concede that it had sort of a sucktastic ending, but the beginning was good, trust me. So. First of all, did you know that the Mayor gets tipsy after one vodka?"

"Never in my life have I needed to know that."

"I figured as much."