Give Me Light (Re-Written version) #ThePicassoAwards #walkbyfaith

Chapter 16

The next few days were some of the most trying I had ever experienced. Dealing with the ups and downs of Anita's musical enthusiasm was a constant reminder to me of how difficult it must have been for my friends to deal with me, in the past. I regretted, with a painful stab to my heart, the pain I knew I must have caused my dear Ruby, with my unwillingness to accept Christianity. I had been stubborn, refusing to trust God for everything. It was stupid of me, for as I had always wished for light, my friend tried to show me the One who could give me a greater Light. But I had turned away, blindly. Now I knew, too late, the frustration and sadness she had no doubt felt but never showed. If I could only return, and show her how much I appreciated all she had done for me, how happy I would have been!

But to return to Anita. I found that her unwillingness to sing lay not in any rebellion against her father's will, for she sincerely wished to honor him; of that I was sure. No, it lay deeper than that; something from her past seemed to bother her, and I was resolved to find it, and, if possible, to help her.

I began simply, by encouraging her in everything she sang. Every night, when the club met, I made it a point to put the most of my attention to her instruction, and I was pleased at feeling the slightest improvement, after the first few days. She spoke more openly with me, and after a week, she told me that "Mr. Smith was right." I was beyond joyful. I felt that, at last, I was beginning to make my way through to her. 

Again, I was reminded of how my friends must have felt, with each small improvement they saw and felt in my manner towards Christ!

I waited a few days more, and again "watched" for some sign of improvement. It was not long in coming. She came to our room one day, while Brigitta was busily sewing at our dresses for the competition. "I'm going for a walk. Want to come?" She put it as an invitation, but I knew by her tone, that there was something she wanted to talk about. 

"Just a minute," I replied, smiling. "Brigitta," I said, turning. "I'm going walking with Anita. You'll be all right?" 

"Sure," she answered. "I've got all your measurements. Just don't be out too late," she added, so much like I imagined my mother would have said if she had been there.

"I won't," I smiled. "Goodbye. Come, Smithy."

Perching himself on my head, he pronounced himself ready to depart. 

Arm in arm, Anita led me down the stairs, out the door, and away to the lake where we had first met, I assumed. She remained silent for some time, and I sensed that she didn't quite know how to begin what she wanted to say. For my part, I kept quiet for fear I would say something wrong, and so prevent her from freeing her mind.

At last, she spoke, but instead of the story I expected, I plainly heard her say, "Nicky, I'm so sorry I've been such a bother to you."

Somehow, this struck Mr. Smith as being extremely funny, and he laughed hoarsely. Not exactly sure why, I began to laugh, too.

"Don't be sorry," I managed to say, finally. "Why should you be? Anita, you weren't a bother. Oh, I admit I was a little frustrated at times, but that was only because I couldn't comprehend anyone not loving to sing. It was good for me, and you shouldn't be sorry; I was happy to help you."

"You're so kind, to say that. The truth is, I wasn't really against singing, just out of pure stubbornness. There were actually some times I wanted to sing, but wouldn't let myself."

"Why not?" I asked, more than a little surprised at her frank confession. 

"Oh, just a fear, I guess. I had a best friend, once. One night, we were singing together. I didn't know anything was the matter, before, but something happened to her heart, they said. She died, and I was sure that singing had caused her death. I was silly, I know, but I was only five, and it stuck with me. I was afraid to sing, I guess. I'm just so grateful to you for bringing me out of that."

I didn't know what to say. I had never dreamed that anyone could be afraid to sing. All I could think to say, was, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. There isn't any need for you to be. It's all over, and now Papa will be happy, because I'll put all my efforts into singing my best, and you'd best look out and sing your best, or I might beat you." She chuckled at the thought. 

"Don't worry, I'll sing my best. We must make this fair, at any rate, but I wouldn't be surprised if you do win."

"Thanks, Nicky. But I doubt that, as I've held back so long; you have an advantage over me, but it's a fair one."

"Don't you go on thinking that way. I'm sure you will do much better than you think."

Anita laughed lightly and rested her head on my shoulder. She seemed glad to have it all out. "It's good of you to say that. Next to Polly, you're the best friend I could wish for."

I smiled at the compliment. The way she had spoken of her best friend reminded me of how I had felt about Ruby. I hadn't been afraid to sing, after her death, but I had been afraid to trust God, who, to me, had seemed so cruel in taking my dearest friend away. "Thank you, Anita," I said at last. 

"I owe you and Mr. Smith so much for bringing me back to my senses. Is there any way I can help you?"

"I can't think of anything. Brigitta is doing my sewing, and Mr. Smith guards me on walks; makes sure I don't wander into trouble. I would hate to think of what would happen to anyone who attempted anything against me."

"Pow, pow, pow!" Exclaimed Mr. Smith, beating his wings vehemently, as the gust of wind that blew my hair around my forehead testified. 

Anita laughed. "I can easily see it wouldn't end too well for the aforesaid person. Well, I'll pay my debt by being a better student. I know I've been hard to bear, but that will change, now. Apart from yourself, a more devoted student won't be found."

Anita was true to her word. For the next few days, she hardly left her room. We knew she was practicing diligently, and we knew, by overhearing a conversation in the hall that her father had guessed the cause of the change, and was grateful.

The club meetings we set aside, each student retreating once more into his or her own room. The last few days were upon us.

I know, it's been way too long since I updated! But I'm back at it, and hope to finish this task. Please encourage me by leaving a vote! Comment if you liked the chapter! :) Thanks! Dorothy