Broken Pieces

Seventeen

I flinched.

Cancer???

I never knew of that. He died of cancer. It was like someone had taken a pitchfork and driven it right through my chest. My heart ripped into half.

"We discovered it months ago, when you both were still dating", Ella continued, "it was already in its last stage so somehow, Dan knew he was going to die soon. It just had to be prolonged"

Hot tears ran down my cheeks.

"When he left you then, he left to the U.S.A. He went for treatment. Chemotherapy and stuff. Doing that overseas cost us loads of money. We got broke and so he had to return here to continue his treatment instead with what we had left"

That explained his appearance and his frequent visits to the hospital.

"Why didnt he tell me then Ella? Why did he have to just leave like that? Did he think i wasnt worth knowing?"

"Celeste, Daniel loved you a lot. The thought of being with you and leaving you soon was killing him. He couldnt bear you knowing, he didnt want you to be hurt. I was forcing him to tell you. I was even trying to tell you myself. But he made me promise not to. He said he didnt want you thinking about it", Ella explained, "hopefully he would be able to get better a little abroad then come back for you. But he didnt"

"Is that why you stopped talking to me all those months?", i asked.

"Yes. I could not handle seeing you cry over Daniel, knowing the reason he left you and not being able to tell you"

"How did i miss this?"

"When he came back, he knew he was going to go soon. So he wanted to see you and open up to you. He knew you still hated him for what he did, so he just wanted to make amends. But sadly, you werent there for him. The day that we both called you, he was about to die, i knew it. He just wanted to see you and tell you one last time that he never stopped loving you and will not"

"But i wasnt there for him"

I stood up, went over to Ella and hugged her. Surprisingly, she hugged me back.

"Daniel loved you Celeste. In ways that you wouldnt have imagined"

"I'm sorry", i sobbed.

She smiled "You shouldnt be telling me that. You should be telling Daniel that"

When i left the house and got outside, i sat on the steps that led to the front door and cried.

I cried because i was lost in my anger. I cried because i didnt reach out to Daniel and didnt allow him reach out to me either. I cried because i was stupid and insensitive. I cried because i could have picked his calls that day and changed things. I cried for losing Daniel.

I had told him before he died that he was the worst person ever but he wasnt. I was.

I cried until i lost my voice and choked on my sobs. Joanna spotted me and walked over to me. She put an arm around me, consoling me while she guided me to her car.