Stuck in Attack On Titan (DISCONTINUED)

Saving Eren from the Unicorn Police

As we "flew" away from the titans, I saw a certain tiny, black-haired captain swoop down and kill the two titans who had almost eaten me.

"Levi..." I murmured.

The soldier who'd saved me finally landed on one of the wagons that was being taken on the expedition and set me down. I felt a sharp pain in my arm and realized that I had a huge cut extending from my wrist to my elbow. I hissed in pain. 

"Hang on," said the soldier. "I'll go get Hange."

After he left, I laid down in the wagon, shielding my eyes from the blinding sun.

I started to fall asleep. The adrenaline from almost being eaten was wearing off, and I was still really tired. My vision started to get fuzzy, and my eyelids closed.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out was a brown-haired woman with glasses leaning over me and grinning curiously.

---

When I woke up, I was sitting in a cell, and my hands were chained.

I groaned, tugging gently at the chains, which made my arm burn with pain.

"Oi. Are you awake?" a sharp voice asked.

I blinked blearily, searching for the source of the voice. It sounded familiar, although I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

When my vision finally focused, I saw a short dark-haired man leaning on the bars of my cell, and a blond man sitting in a chair behind him.

"Yes," I croaked. "I'm awake. What the fuck do you want?"

"Who are you? How did you get outside the walls? How did you manage to escape the titan?¨ The short soldier bombarded me with questions.

Still half asleep, his sharp voice was giving me a headache.

"Hey short stack," I said. "Could you shut up for a second?"

He glared at me.

"First of all, why the fuck am I in a cell?" I asked.

The blonde dude finally spoke up. "You're being kept here because we don't know anything about you," he said. "You could be conspiring with that crazy titan kid."

"What?" I said. "Titan kid...?"

Then I remembered falling from the sky and stabbing the titan in the hand with my switchblade. And then I realized that this midget was Captain Levi. Who I just called a short stack. Fuck.

"Oh, you mean Eren." I said. "I'm not plotting against humanity or anything, I just wanna kill titans." I made my best impression of Erens crazed titan-killing face. Then I laughed coldly.

"Look, Levi," I said. He frowned at my casual use of his first name. "If I'd had 3DMG like you Scouts did, I could have killed the titans and been done with it. The forest is a perfect environment for vertical maneuvering, because of all those big ass trees. I'm a pretty good fighter. I could probably even beat you. And I do happen to have some valuable information about the titans. Just let me out of this cell, and I'll help you. It's in your best interest to let me go."

Levi glared. "Tch. Sure it is, brat," he said. "You're probably a con artist or something. No way in hell are we letting you go."

Erwin stood and held something out to me. It was my green Survey Corps hoodie. "You are not a member of the Survey Corps," he said. "Why do you have this?"

I grinned. "I'm just a big fan." I said vaguely. "And I really do know some stuff that could help you."

At the soldiers' skeptical looks, I sighed. "Fine, how about this. I'll give you some information right now, and you can let me out. If what I say really does happen, will you make me a member of the Survey Corps?"

Levi glanced at Erwin. The blonde nodded. "Seems fine. But were going to have either Hange or Levi be watching you at all times."

I cheered and tried to pump my fist, but then I remembered the chains. "So..." I said. "Could you unchain me now?"

Levi opened the cell door and started unlocking the chains. "Thanks dude." I said. He glared at me.

Once I was unchained, I grabbed my duffel bag and started to walk towards the courtroom. I looked back at the two men, who were staring at me in surprise. I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Eren's trial is about to start. We better hurry, I dont want to miss this."

The courtroom was packed full of people, with Eren chained to a pole in the center of the room. I stood between Levi and Mikasa, watching the scene with interest. "Think they'll kill him?" I asked Mikasa. She glared at me. "Who are you?" she hissed angrily. I smirked in response and turned back to the judge. I pretty much tuned out for most of the trial, until I realized it was about time for Levi to start beating up Eren. He made a move to go over to the titan boy, but I put a hand on his shoulder, holding him back. I jumped over the balcony and landed next to Eren. He looked up at me, confused, and I kicked him square in the face. Then I brought my knee up and hit him in the chin. I continued beating him up, noticing out of the corner of my eye Mikasa trembling in fury, until I heard someone call out "Stop!"

I turned towards the man who'd spoken. "What, Nile?" I said exasperatedly.

"It's dangerous," Nile said. "What if he snaps and turns into a titan?"

I scoffed. "What are you talking about? You unicorn fuckers are the ones who want to dissect him, right?"

Nile froze, his mouth open, but he couldn't seem to find the words he wanted to say. I turned toward Darius Zackly.

"Sir, it's just my humble opinion, but I believe pain is the most effective mode of discipline." I said. "I think Levi and I are more than capable of keeping this kid under control. Turn him over to the Survey Corps."

Zackly nodded. "I think it's pretty clear who should have custody over Jaeger." he said. I grinned widely and went back to stand by Levi and Mikasa.

***

"YOU BITCH!!" I heard someone scream as we left the courtroom. I turned to see Mikasa sprinting at me with her fists clenched. I deftly stepped to the side as she lunged at me, causing her to fall over. I kicked her in the stomach and grabbed her arm, pinning it behind her back.

"It had to be done, Ackerman." I said. "Zackly wouldn't have let Eren come with the Survey Corps if we hadn't done that."

I released her. She got up, still glaring at me. "Also," I added. "It was fun."

I smirked as I walked away towards Levi and Erwin. "How did you know our plan?" Erwin asked.

I smiled. "I told you, Erwin, I know things." I said. "So, can I join the Survey Corps?"

"Have you had training?" Erwin asked.

"Uh... no, but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine." I replied.

Erwin shook his head. "Levi, you're going to train her. She seems to already know a lot, it seems like we need her. Make sure she can fight. We'll assign her to a squad later."

I couldn't help but grin. "Thanks, dude!" I said. I didn't think Erwin appreciated me calling him "dude" but it was just a habit I had developed. I called everyone "dude."

"All right," I said to Levi. "When do we start training?"

"Tomorrow," he answered. "And I'm not going to go easy on you, brat."

I laughed. "I didn't expect you to."

Mikasa growled. I chuckled. Maybe she was jealous that I was a better fighter than she was. "What's wrong, Mikasa?" I asked mockingly.

"Whatever, dude." she said. I rolled my eyes and turned away. I yawned. I was actually really tired, although I had woken up just recently. I sighed. I was not looking forward to having to fight Levi tomorrow.