Stuck in Attack On Titan (DISCONTINUED)

i need to tell you something

hey guys, i'm sorry this isn't an update, but i felt the need to talk about this.

so, first of all, since school has started again for me (someone kill me now) i won't be able to update very much during the week. however, i promise i'll update at least once each weekend! i'm getting more motivated to write, which is great, although the reason why is pretty shitty.

the reason is that i'm basically going deaf.

i began suffering from 50% hearing loss at a very young age, and i had seven surgeries to try to correct it. apparently, those surgeries ended up damaging my eardrums even more. a normal, healthy eardrum is supposed to have three layers. due to the excessive surgeries, my eardrums have one layer and are full of holes. i noticed that i wasn't hearing so well (well... worse than usual) so i went to my ent (ear, nose, and throat doctor) and he told me that i have a good chance of becoming completely deaf. i currently have hearing aids, but he said that wasn't going to help me. i'm going to be getting eardrum reconstruction surgery soon, but if that doesn't work, then there's pretty much nothing to be done.

i'm really upset about it, because i love music. i play the piano, cello, electric guitar, banjo, bass, and violin, and i love singing as well. if i do end up losing my hearing, that will definitely be the worst part for me. the other bad part is that in addition to english and spanish, i was beginning to learn to speak japanese, german, and french, and i won't be able to become fluent.

so i decided to start expressing myself more through writing. even if i do go deaf, i definitely won't give up on music, but writing will be an easier way to "escape reality," if you will. i honestly kind of hate the world. i don't mean that to sound depressing, but what with the condition of the United States and world in general being kind of fucked up, i've (unintentionally) been isolating myself and losing myself more in my art and writing. drawing is another way i express myself, i love drawing comic strips or manga sketches!

anyway, sorry for kind of going off topic. on the bright side, my doctor said he's hopeful that my surgery will go well. until then, wish me luck! and look forward to more chapters coming soon.

thank you for reading my story (and this pretty much pointless a/n!)