Yours Truly (Petekey)

Letter #4

Written by: musicalromantic

My dearest, Mikey,

Again, I must tell you, I was thoroughly pleased and honored when I received not one, but two letters from you. You can never know the happiness you make me feel inside and I'm afraid I must tell you that I don't think I will ever know how to express the things I feel for you, so you'll just have to trust me and my words. The words that I somehow am able to convey and the ones that I hope mean much to you.

Reading your letter made me feel whirlwinds of emotions... Emotions I haven't felt before today. So many emotions were felt that I wish I could feel them all the time. You must know that you have a way with your words that have a way of making me feel special. I suppose it is because I know you wrote those words just for me. You didn't write them for Kirsten or anyone else... You wrote them for me and for that, I must thank you.

Let me explain to you that I'd never seen the lake shine more beautifully than it did when I was with you on Friday. It was almost like it was putting on a show for you and I alone. I feel quite foolish talking about this sort of thing because I never quite know if you see or appreciate the things I do about the lake. Part of me wonders if you saw the way the lake reflected the sun's shine and glitters. Did you see how the lake is stunning in so many ways, and did you see the way the water rippled and splashed against the shore? Did that action, like me, make you just want to go swimming in it, and join in the fun of the little splashes. Can you see that too?

Friday afternoon made me realize a couple of things, and I must tell them to you if I am to be honest with you. Please accept my apology in not going further with you. Because I had never been kissed before the night of your eighteenth birthday celebration, you must also know I haven't gone... further than that either. I am sure you have, because lips and hands like yours are not those of an amateur. I must apologize and admit to you that I just wasn't ready to do those types of things with you yet. Please don't think any less of me for it, I beg you. I couldn't bare the thought of that.

Understand me though, when I tell you that you make me feel so loved and you make me so carefree. You mean so much to me and I hope you will be able to wait for me. Thank you for stopping when I asked you to. I have heard tales of several men who do not stop when women ask them to. And even though I am unfortunately not a woman, I am thanking God that you did stop.

On to another matter of utter importance, you must believe me when I tell you that I am very sorry for all the strife I have caused you in dealing with your family life and your father. Believe me when I say I didn't mean to cause a rift between you and your father and I'm sorry I forced you to lie to him. I do not care that he thinks you were with Kirsten, because that makes it less suspicious if we are to meet again like you, and me, want. Consider me... less of a jealous lover and more of a gracious one. Kirsten is a blessing for me just as much as she is a curse.

A favor I must ask of you is to please thank your elder brother, Gerard for me. I know he is a good man, and he is an even better man for keeping our secret. Even if his lie is to be used as leverage over you, he could just have easily told your father the truth about our secret. This secret that I wish didn't exist. This secret that I wish I could shout from the rooftop of every factory building in London. The secret I wish I could tell everyone I love, and the secret I wish they would support us with no hesitation. Unfortunately, for you and for me, there is a reason we must keep it a secret, and I am forever grateful for Gerard's loyalty.

I wish him and Lindsey all the best in their adventures and experiences in parenthood. I know you will make a very interesting uncle to your niece or nephew, and I know you and Kirsten will one day make splendid parents to splendid children who will grow up to be the finest in London if they take after their father only slightly. I know your children will grow up to be fine ladies and gentleman. Talking of the future makes me sad, so I shall dwell on it no longer, and concentrate on the present. Instead, I will concentrate on you.

Instead, I will concentrate on your smooth, soft skin and your eyes that put every other single eye color to shame. I will concentrate on your lips and I will try to figure out how you are blessed by God or an angel... Something that has one of the highest power over everything ever known by mankind. Why and how did they make you so perfect, and just make it so I couldn't really have you?

Part of me will never figure out why I am lucky enough to have known you... To have been liked and perhaps, even loved, by you and to be touched by you. What did I ever do to possibly deserve you? How does a lonely, pathetic tailor's son end up being loved by a magnificent, (I won't listen when you tell me not to describe you with that word) blessed son of a Duke? What have I done to deserve your attention and your love?

Ending my questions that I fear will never be answered, I have to tell you that I am afraid I can not accept your money for several reasons. You probably do not know how much pride runs through my veins. To accept money from you would be an insult for me. I appreciate your generous offer of the money, but I simply can not take it. I would rather work for the money to pay for the Byron book than use your money to buy it. The only reason I accepted your first book was because it had already been bought as a present. I beg you to not see me as unappreciative or unhappy, because I know I will never be able to repay all the things you've done for me, and you've made me more happy than I probably have ever been before in my life.

Another reason I can not accept it is because suspicions of our father's will only grow. We have just gotten your father to believe you spend time with Lady Kirsten instead of me, and a disappearing allowance will almost certainly just rise more suspicions with him. My father would also grow suspicious, asking where I'd got the money from, and it is so very hard for me to lie to him.

However, your other offer, I will accept. The offer speaking of informal courting. You could not possibly understand the love Romeo has for his Juliet. How you make me feel is beyond words and I think you won't ever understand my feelings for you, but how I wish you did. I too, want to see you again and again and again and again. You make me so ecstatic when you agree and say you want that too. I do not want your money, but I will be satisfied with your love.

Because I know you so well, I also know if I tried to send any of this money back to you, it would immediately be sent back with a convincing protest of some sort, and I just can't have that happen. I'm sorry Mikey, but I will not accept your money. Instead, on behalf of the Way family, I have decided to make a donation. You would not believe how many times I pass the orphanage that is not but several blocks away from my house. Except, it's not an orphanage, it's a run-down shack that should be considered uninhabitable. The children I see coming out of there are half starved and so dirty, you almost wouldn't even know they were children. It is disgusting and inhumane how the children are treated. This is why those orphans need your money more than I do. If you remember, Mikey, I was one parent away from living there as well. If these children are not taken care of, they will grow up as thugs and thieves... The boys will grow up with no proper education or anything to help them survive in life. The girls will grow up as prostitutes with no protection. This is why I must do this.

And to answer your question, Mikey... The orphanage is a few blocks between our houses. You can't miss it. Monday at noon is where you will find me there.

Yours Truly,

Pete