Yours Truly (Petekey)

XXIV.

Written by musicalromantic

Peter Lewis Wentz

I stumble out of the bookstore, wiping my lips free from sin and forcing myself to be calm. This had been the best night of my short life so far. The things Mikey can do to me make me feel things I didn't even know I could feel. The feeling of his hands on me and the feeling of his lips on me almost make me melt on the spot.

How I wish I were going home with him tonight. The fact that Kirsten came upon us makes me want to perish on the spot and I almost die of embarrassment just thinking of it.

Kirsten Colby has all of my pity. The fact that she will be marrying a man who does not love her was surely not how she thought her life would turn it. I've seen how girls behave when they are young. Even though they have a duty to their family- their only job being to marry rich, I do not know any girl who would wish to spend the rest of their life with someone who they do not love. The streets are dark and the street lamps cast mysterious glows on the pavement as I run. I run fast to my house trying to escape what I've just done.

I need to escape what I've just done to Mikey, and what I've just done to Kirsten, and what I've just done to my father, and what I've just done to myself. I need to go home and go to bed. I need to fall asleep and dream of nothing but Mikey, wishing he were right next to me, comforting me as I fall asleep.

I reach my house and the eerie silence has put me slightly on edge. All the families are safely tucked in their beds, waiting for the next day and here I am, just returning from committing an awful sin. A sin that I love.

I open the door quietly and the lights have turned off, which means my father has gone off to bed, leaving me to myself for the night. The words he said have haunted me. He will discontinue my apprenticeship if I misbehave. And I can't think of anything worse.

That thought enters my mind and I can't get it to leave. What would I do if my father were to send me to a factory? Would I throw myself upon the floor at his feet and beg him for another chance? Would I run away, disgracing my whole family and leave this town without a decent tailor? Would I do as he said, and sign my own death contract just waiting for something to happen? Waiting for a machine to malfunction and I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time... or waiting for me to get so tired that my hand slips while operating a machine... I wince at the thought and crawl into bed, significantly less happy.

I brush the thought from my mind, instead focusing on my lover. What would he be doing now? Would he be with Kirsten and if so, what were they doing? A twinge of jealousy sparks in my chest and I know that I would give anything to be Kirsten Colby. I know I would give anything to be able to marry Michael Way. I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I sit on my bed, taking my clothes off and sigh gently, feeling lonelier than I have in a while. Of course, I always feel lonely whenever I'm not with him. I tell myself I'm acting too desperate and I need to slow down. I tell myself that he can't be with me all the time no matter how much I want him to be.

I want him right here with me and I want him on top of me, pinning me down to my bed and kissing me as roughly as he had been. I miss the feeling of him and I slowly let out a breath, that I didn't know I'd been holding in. I want him with me, I want him here. I don't ever want him to leave. I know it's stupid and I know it's selfish, but that's human nature. And I'm only human.

I have trouble getting to sleep. Thoughts of Mikey are invading every inch of my head and that bastard just won't leave. Mikey and his beautiful hands that are so much softer than mine. Eventually, thoughts of Persistence and thoughts of Juliet get too tiring and I drift off to sleep.