seventeen

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i glance down at my paper, taking rough notes of the class. i do what i always do and draw a bubble around the title, the speaking of the teacher blending and interweaving with the background noise of quiet chatting.

lifting my head up, my eyes lock with luke's. he's sat on the opposite side of class, and we both give each other a small smile at the same time. i look away, but end up looking back at him almost immedietly and he's still looking at me. another smile.

he used to sit next to me, but the teacher had no choice but to move us away. with our lack of interest in history, it meant that all we would do is talk together. notes would be exchanged, little crumpled slips of paper torn from our lined paper, and we would whisper under our breaths, leaning in close and laughing about the silliest of things.

as soon as the bell rings, luke lingers around his side of the classroom while i pack away and meets me at my desk.

"do you want to go out for lunch?" he asks me, holding onto one of his backpack straps and smiling at me with all the warmth in the world.

"yeah," i reply in a stupid voice, zipping up my bag and smiling up at him. "lily's?"

"lily's it is," he begins to walk out of the classroom, me following after him. "we should try the mochas this time. apparantly they're so good."

"but i love getting the lemonade," i playfully complain. "i'll have a sip of yours."

"okay okay," he agrees. "are you walking home after school?"

"of course and i happen to need you to walk me home."

"well i was going to walk you home anyway." his arm nudges mine and i turn to him, unable to not smile back at his bright eyes and playful smile. i'm so in love with him, and i don't know how to tell him.

we order toasted sandwiches together, me ordering my lemonade and luke ordering a mocha for us to both try. he asks for extra whipped cream and the chocolate they dust on the cream. when i take a sip, i get the cream on my nose.

luke looks at me, the smile dissipitating from his lips for a moment. then he reaches his hand out, laughing under his breath and his eyes bright, and swipes the end of my nose with his thumb.

"thank you," i diffidently say, glancing to my right and taking a sip of my lemonade to hide my smile. "we should probably be getting back soon."

"i know," he sighs. "i'm tired of school. i keep thinking of dropping out."

"no, don't drop out." my eyebrows pull together in a frown. "you would regret it. i know you enough, luke, to know you would regret it."

"you don't know me better than i know me." one corner of his lips pulls up into a half smile.

"i think i do."

"but we spend so much time there, and with us both working weekends i only ever see you at night. i love walking together places and going on fun adventures but wouldn't it be so much better if we were able to do that all the time."

"school doesn't last forever, luke." i softly say, repeating his words that slow dance from his lips over and over in my mind. he wants to spend time with me, all the time. he loves the walks and the adventures.

"i know," he stares to the right of me at a painting hanging on the wall. my leg brushes against his beneath the table. "this sounds stupid," he breathes, staring across at me now. "but i'm really worried that one day we'll have to go and i'll regret not spending my life properly. i'm worried that i'll have regrets that i wasted my life away."

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