self-help // phan

unus

Self-help
a dan and phil fanfiction.
Enjoy.

On a day like this, Dan had a lot of better things to do. Anything was better.

Dan gripped the cushioned chair and waited, vaguely remembering what had occurred the night before.

He recalled his mother slamming her hands against the table and exclaiming, "That's it Dan! You're getting help!" He threw fit after fit, but his mum wasn't going to budge. Her movements were clumsy with anger as she called the office he was now in, and assigning him a regular psychiatrist.

This was NOT necessary, he thought crossly. He picked at his fingers and avoided eye contact with the receptionist as she gazed around the room.

"Daniel Howell?"

This was it.
Dan considered making a run for it, but his mother would be furious with him if she had found out he skipped the appointment. He didn't want to tell his problems to some old lady while she dozed off! Fighting his instinct, he stood and smiled awkwardly. The receptionist gave him a warm expression and told him, " Far door on the left."

Dan wound his way through the hallway, tripping over his own feet in nervousness.

He smoothed his shirt and stared at the floor. If he acted as though nothing bothered him, the psychiatrist would have no reason to keep him, and his mother would be forced to cancel his appointments.

He glanced into the door and saw a big computer screen shielding the person from behind their desk. There were an array of chairs to choose from, casual wooden ones in front of the person, and bean bags slouched in the corner. Tiny figurines marked the front of the desk.

Taking a deep breath, Dan gave the door a hard knock. The person immediately strained their neck over the computer, all he saw at first was a pale face shielded by hair.

"Daniel? Come in!" The person stood, and Dan gazed with surprise. He was not an old lady, nor did he look ready to doze off. He was tall, about Dan's height, with black hair going across his forehead. His eyes gleamed under his rimmed glasses and he smiled without a trace of mockery. He gestured to the bean bags, but Dan sat down on the hard wooden chair stubbornly. The psychiatrist blinked and sat down.

"So Daniel, how was your day?" The man leaned forward. His tie pressed up against the desk as he rested his chin on his hands.

"It was fine." Dan's voice was flat. He was going to pull this off. "Really, what made it fine?" Dan blinked, surprised.

"Um, I'm not sure." His tone jumped as he came across such an odd question. His eyes immediately flicked around the room for something to look at, and his eyes rested on the name plate in big letters.

DR. LESTER

Dr. Lester's eyes left his and he began to flip through a stack of papers he had on his desk.

"Well, let's get to it, shall we. Here it says you study law. Is that right?" Dan nodded.

"How's that going?" he asked.

Terrible. Awful. Retched.

"Fine."

Dr. Lester blinked again. "Tell me about university life. What's it like?" Dan hesitated, before explaining his dorm and his teachers in as much little detail as possible.

Uncomfortableness prickled his skin like insects. Dr. Lester listened intently, his blue eyes not straying from Dan's face.

"I really enjoyed football games and whatnot, but that was before-" Dan immediately cut himself off, as he realizes his rambling almost revealed something personal. Dr. Lester didn't move or give a sign he noticed. "Before I noticed how difficult uni was." It was a total lie, and Dr. Lester knew it.

He didn't press, and asked him about family, friends, homework, and Dan found himself slowly slipping in as time ticked by.

As he described how much the dark woodland made him fearful, Dan's arms shot up to help iterate his fear, and his sleeves rolled back to reveal light lines stretching across his arm, old and fading. Immediately his arms went down, and his knuckle slammed against the chair in the process. He gasped in pain, cradling the bruised finger. Dan looked up and found Dr. Lester had hesitated, his eyes searching him in surprise.

"Are you alright Daniel?" His voice hit a higher octave as he stood, his eyes boring into Dan. "Shall I call someone?"

This could be his chance. He could get out early. Before he could confirm, he found himself shaking his head.

Why the hell did I do that?

Dan cringed as the psychiatrist sat down. The rest of the time melted away as Dr. Lester attempted to resume asking him questions, and Dan spat one word replies, annoyed with himself.

At last, the timer went off. He could go home. He stood abruptly, and immediately fell back again as the blood rushed to his head. I really needed to lay off the junk food.

Dr. Lester's eyes didn't leave his face as he said a farewell.

"I'll see you... Thursday. How does that sound?"

Thursday?! That's two days away!

"Why so soon?" Dan asked, attempting respect. "I'd like to check up on you further," was all the doctor replied. For a moment, they both stared at each other, then Dr. Lester cleared his throat and turned to head to his desk.

Dan left.

He got a taxi back to his apartment, and that was that.

Dan sorted the events out through his head, frustrated by his thoughts. Dan could remember every detail Dr. Lester's face, and as much as he tried to distract himself with music and the internet, his mind kept finding its way back to the appointment.

Stubbornly, Dan angrily shook his head. He wasn't going to give in to the psychiatrist. He wasn't!

End of Chapter One. Please give any constructive criticism or your opinion on it! Thanks for reading, see you soon for Chapter Two.

-G