self-help // phan

quattor

Self-Help
a dan and phil fanfiction
chapter 4
Enjoy

Dan couldn't stop fidgeting.

The car ride to his apartment was all the more awkward, any moment Dan said anything it contained a voice crack or came out uncomfortable.

At last, they pulled into a parking garage in front of a large building with rows upon rows of windows. The flats themselves looked wide and spacious, and as Dan exited the car into the freezing cold, they seemed to loom over him even more.

It had stopped raining by then, everything around them covered in a bitter frost. Dr. Lester turned and said something, but Dan's focus wasn't on him, the vapor that billowed from his mouth struck Dan in the face.

They trudged to the big glass doors in silence, Dr. Lester punched in a pin code quickly & swung open the door. Inside it was warm and toasty, with big elevators on either side. The older male strode towards one; Dan quickly followed.

Once the elevator started for the eleventh floor, they both stood next to each other, waiting.

"By the way..." Dr. Lester began, "It's Phil."

Dan turned to gaze at him. "What?"

"That's my first name. I should have told you that a while ago, but given the circumstance, I feel you can save me the honorifics of Dr. Lester. At least, it's easier."

Phil Lester.

"And even though I try to be fun and a cool guy while in office," Dr. Lester continued, "I have to be formal sometimes. Or else, they'd probably fire me."

He moved to gaze at Dan with the same warm gaze and smiled. There wasn't anything special about the smirk, there wasn't any teeth, but it still gave Dan a feeling he hadn't really received before.

"Thanks, I guess," was all Dan could say. What else was he supposed to say, anyway?

Until what seemed like forever, the elevator finally came to a shuddering stop. Phil quickly left the elevator and spun the corner, leaving Dan to follow quickly, stumbling over his own feet. Why did he have to be clumsy now of all times?

He and Phil passed many identical doors, curious to know which one was Phil's.

The older male stopped abruptly, with Dan almost colliding into him. In big bold numbers read '1142' with a small name plate under it.

'LESTER'

Phil fumbled with keys for a moment; the door swung open, and Dan was ushered inside.

The first thing Dan noticed was the smell. It struck him with such a sweet scent, he bathed in it for a moment. It was so fragrant that he could hardly pick out each smell.

The furniture was a solid gray, surrounding it were an array of bright coloured lamps and books. They gave off a nerdy vibe, something that surprised Dan. He wondered if anyone else lived here along with Phil. Comic books were scattered beside a large Mac Computer with a camera set up.

"Sorry for the mess," Phil began to clean up cans of soda that were abandoned on he coffee table, Dan hadn't even noticed them.

"It's okay..." Dan continued to look around. There was a TV in the far corner with video games piled on it.

"Right," Phil looked around the room and rested his eyes on Dan. "I should probably feed you. You like pizza?" Dan nodded. He mentally made a note to pay Phil back for whatever he owed. "Okay, I'll make a call to order one, you can look around if you want, while I order. In the mean time, what kind of pizza do you like?"

Dan told him, and Phil beamed. "I like Pepperoni and Spinach too! What a coincidence." That smirk again.

He shuffled into another room as Phil placed the call, and made his way into what looked like an office. On it was another desk computer, this one covered in sticky notes and stacks of papers surrounding it. As he got closer, he could read the notes plastered on the computer in neon colours, one caught his eye. He felt a jolt in his belly and his stomach twisted as though it wriggled with worms.

"Daniel J. Howell, 22, Dissociation & PD"

What was his name doing there? His eyes flicked to other notes and he immediately understood. On each sticky note there was a scrawled name and brief information. These must be his patients.

He went into the room directly next to it, finding himself in Phil's bedroom. The bedsheets were a shocking green and blue, each color mixing with each other. There were plushies that Dan recognized stacked on the drawers, with shoes and clothes piled on the floor. His closet doors were swung open, revealing one side with formal white shirts, and another with striking colourful shirts with uncountable patterns.

On the night stand there was a large alarm clock, Dan panicked when he realized it was after midnight. He was holding Phil's sleeping pattern! He hurried back into the living room where Phil was organising the coffee table.

"Dr. Lester!" Dan swallowed. "I mean, Phil... You don't need to stay up this late because of me. You'll be so tired in the morning." Phil only gave Dan another dazzling smile.

"Don't worry about it. I'm only going into the office tomorrow for some documents and to run some errands. It isn't an issue." Phil promised.

"But..."Dan trailed off. His mind was lost in a whirl, confusion battering his brain.

"I'm sorry for everything!" Dan blurted out, "You didn't have to do this, especially after I yelled at you and ran off. You've been nothing but kind while I've been a prick!"He gave Phil a look of somber eyes. "I mean, you're just such a good guy! Not to mention, you're all the more successful than me without even being much older. Why are you being so nice to me?"

Phil's lips were turned in a hard frown, shock lingering in his expression from Dan's outburst.

"I've been very thankful to have you around." he said evenly. "Your reactions have been natural, this day has not been a best. And," he looked directly into Dan's eyes, "I had special opportunities growing up, and graduated early. You still have plenty of time to do what you want to do in life." His expression was soft.

"I'm no better than you are just because you're my patient. I have this job because I do what I'm good at, not because I'm smarter."

There was a hard knock. The pizza must have arrived.

"And lastly..." Phil said as he picked up his wallet. "I think there are things we can both learn from each other."