self-help // phan

decim

Self-Help
a dan and phil fanfiction
chapter 10
Enjoy.

In the days following, Dan hadn't visited his home. He ate, bathed, and slept at Phil's house, watching movies and competing in video-games.

When Dan was left alone, he would investigate small corners of the apartment or things he hadn't looked at yet.

Today, he spent the day mindlessly wandering Twitter, before he accidentally exited his tabs, bringing him to the home screen, which was a photo of several baby otters splashing in water.

He was greeted with rows of folders, each labeled with totally different categories. One was 'Why robots would take over the world', and another 'Court Files II'. His eyes rested on one labeled in big letters: 'UNI'.

Curiosity itched at him. He hated being nosy, but the idea of learning something knew about Phil stuck to him.

Dan tried visiting other websites, but the folder kept coming back to his mind. Sighing dramatically, he minimized the tab and trained his eyes on the file. Just one look.

Inside, a mass of photos, documents, and videos popped up. He clicked on one at random, and a photo of (he looked so different!) Phil & a group of teenagers appeared. Phil's hair was short and pushed up in a spike, surrounded by a group of people. His arms were around a boy and a girl, they were all frozen in intense laughter. Dan went to the next one, and was greeted with yet another one with Phil looking so much younger, pressing his cheek against a pretty girl with long brunette hair.

Each photo contained Phil looking young and confident, surrounded by groups of people who were adults now. He continued to notice the same dark haired-girl in the photos, they seemed to always be close to each other, touching in some way.

Whoops, Dan thought. This isn't my business.

Whatever previous relationships Phil had didn't have anything to do with him now, he shouldn't think anymore of it.

But he did.

Closing the tab, he wondered what all there was to Phil, how many secrets he really had. He didn't have time to ponder on it, he spun around when he heard the door click.

Phil came in shivering, breaking out into a smile when seeing Dan. "You'd think it'd be a little warmer outside!" he huffed. He lugged his normal brief case with him, and a few shopping bags in his other hand. Curiously, Dan tried to get a better look.

"No looking!" Phil moved the bags out of view. "Not yet, at least."

Dan watched him glide across the flat with wide eyes, wondering what he had planned. The older man came out of the office, loosening the green tie around his neck. "How was work?" Dan inquired.

"Interesting. One girl got so upset she vomited in the bin next to my desk, I'll spare you of the details."

Dan laughed and followed Phil as he headed into the kitchen.

"Whoa, since when have you cooked?" he was eyeing the stir fry Dan had prepared earlier. "You work all day, and I sit on my ass. I should at least do something to compensate for my stay," he glanced to the side awkwardly. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

"I bet it's the best stir fry out there." Phil brightened and began to pull plates out of the cabinet. It was embarrassing to think about how domestic all of this seemed, not that Dan minded.

They were half-way through their meal when Phil mentioned the bags again. "I'll be back." he said before dashing in the other room. He returned with big glass bottles and sat them on the counter in front of them, along with fancy glasses.

"You know what today is, don't you?"

Dan hadn't been keeping track of the days as they passed, he shook his head.

"It's Valentine's Day." Dan's heart immediately sprang to work and pounded in his chest before Phil even finished speaking. "Since we're both single adult men, I felt we could spend the evening like any other, getting drunk and watching movies. You in?"

Inwardly, Dan cursed himself for freaking out for nothing- what was there to worry over, anyway? Phil was straight, and so was he. But Phil was right, he hadn't bothered to count the days and realize it was February 14th.

Eventually they chose Avatar, settling down on opposite sides of the couch with wine in their hands. It wasn't a particular favorite, but Phil had made a good choice, it was strong and fragrant, giving Dan a warm feeling that spread through his body.

It had been a long time since Dan drank, it wasn't long before his vision began to blur. He swung his head to look at Phil, who still seemed totally normal, his eyes fixated on the screen.

God, he was so pretty. In the dim light, Phil's black hair glowed, and his fair skin stood out against the contrasting grey couch.

Dan tried to focus back on the movie, but the blue people- Avatars- didn't seem to interest him. After three or four glasses (he was losing count), he had to pee. He stood unsteadily, and announced his leave particularly loud.

Phil gave him a look of raised eyebrows, and laughed at his stumbling movements.

After a particularly hard time using the restroom, Dan came back out with his fly undone. Phil noticed as he passed, but when he opened his mouth to warn him, he was caught off guard as a drunk Dan plopped down right next to Phil, practically on top of him. He rested his head on Phil's arm, and blinked slowly at the bright screen.

What were they watching again? Who was he watching with? Oh yeah, Phil.

Wait, were the Avatars kissing? He squinted, and recognized two blue shapes trained on one another, their lips attached and their hands traveling.

Dan turned to look at Phil, his gaze finding his neck. It was strained from looking at the TV, his eyes followed up to his jawline, then his lips, his crooked nose, and then his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes that were full of multiple colours, eyes that were staring straight at him.

Wait, what?

Dan forced himself to focus in his hazy state and saw that Phil's eyes were still looking, watching his movements. They were closer than Dan had remembered, he didn't realize he had sat so near.

"Sorry," Dan hiccuped and shuffled awkwardly with his long limbs to move himself to the other side of the couch, but Phil's hand stopped him.

It rested on his knee, and didn't move.

Dan stared at it, before slowly looking up and finding Phil giving him an intense look. Confused, he gazed back. Dan's eyes wandered to his cheekbones, down farther, farther, farther... He finished by training his eyes on a pair of lips.

They were soft-looking to Dan, pursed and curved in the most perfect way. He couldn't figure out whose lips they were, but his alcohol-induced brain gave him one instinct.

Dan leaned forward, and bumped noses to the person that owned them. His mouth found theirs and he felt a gasp as he gently moved against them. For a moment, they were unmoving against Dan's until slowly returning the soft pecks. The owner of these lips pushed Dan forward until he rested on his back, a shadow hovering above him as he tangled his hands in dark locks.

The kiss began to get increasingly more quick & rough, Dan was a mess beneath them. He gripped their shirt, pulling them closer and grinding himself against the leg nestled between his, craving friction.

At once, the stranger pulled away and said, "Dan, you're drunk. We should stop now."

He knew that voice, why couldn't he pin point it?

"Don't wanna." Dan muttered in response. He pulled the person back over him, his lips traveling on their neck. They shuddered, and tried again. "We really shouldn't, this isn't what you want-"

"Just shut up and kiss me," Dan snapped. The silhouette of the person watched him, their dark hair shining in the dim light of a forgotten movie. He knew that face, he knew those eyes.

But, Dan didn't stop him when he slowly leaned forward and connected their lips again.