"Wild Desire"
Hey, Lila here! I'm excited to review your book, thanks for requesting. Let's get started :)
Cover: The quality is kind of iffy, but it's pretty good.
Title: The title is captivating, and definitely piqued my interested. Nice.
Description: Woohoo! The summary totally caught my attention. It's concise and to the point (though it could probably be a little shorter) and it does a good job of giving the reader an idea of what the story will be about.
Premise: It's a great idea and I can't wait to see your take on it.
Plot: Pretty good, but a little rushed. Just adjust your pacing and you'll be good.
Characters: The relationship between Zoey and and Adrian in the beginning is cute. Brinene is absolutely adorable, and she's comical which I like. Overall your characters seem well-developed, except for Zoey who seems a little flat. The relationships are good.
Writing Style: You use some nice details, and you're a talented writer. However, you switch the POV a lot in each chapter and that can be confusing and distracting for the reader. I suggest writing longer parts in each POV, so that it's not switching so often.
Step-by-Step
Chapter One: I love the opening sentence, I was hooked instantly! It made me wonder "okay, why is she drinking?" and the sleazeball that tried flirting with Zoey made me laugh. (Because it's totally relatable. Some guys are so creepy.) I like Zoey's confidence when dancing, and props to her for living a wild lifestyle! (#GirlPower)
I think that your paragraphs could be longer and more descriptive. Maybe go back and add a few details to them? Though can I just say, you are really good at writing the sexy scenes! (I laughed my ass off when I read "I fake moaned, just wanting the ordeal to be over with" because same, Zoey.) Just a small suggestion -- your dialogue sounds a little forced. Play the conversations in your head and ask yourself, 'would someone talk like this in real life'?
Finally, I was a little confused about Adrian and Zoey's relationship. At first it was nice, and they were friends, and then at the end they suddenly hate each other? What happened there?
Chapter Two: Once again, nice job starting off the chapter. & Nice usage of details here! I like how the reader gets to know how he feels about Zoey, it makes him seem human. The plot development was great in this chapter, however it all seemed rushed. Slow down and take your time :)
Chapter Three: I love how you described the new characters here (nice details!!) There was some nice dialogue going on too. Also the way you wrote about Zoey's appearance after Bri gave her the makeover, was really good. I was drawn into the story.
But it doesn't make sense that Zoey would say yes to Daniel's proposal. It seems like she doesn't love him at all, considering that she sleeps around with other guys. It's all kind of random too.
OVERALL: Since our review limit is three chapters, I'll just tell you about the rest of the story here. The plot development was pretty good, but there were some moments where it seemed rush and had a choppy pace. I like all of your characters a lot-- they seem real and relatable!-- except for Zoey, who could use some more development. Your writing style is unique and enjoyable, but you could stand to be more descriptive.
Overall it was an enjoyable read and I'm glad I found it! You're very talented.
RATING: 6.5/10 stars. Just make some improvements and it'll be 10/10!!
PAYMENT
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Reviewed by liloshy
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