We Will Review Your Book!

Half

"Half"

by AnotherCosmonaut

Hey, it's mangoskies_ here! I'm Kat and I'll be reviewing your book as honest as I can in order to help you out. Let's get started. 

Cover: The cover catches my eye and it's pretty good! The only suggestion I have would be to make it somewhat easier to read. The words kinda blend in with the picture.

Title: Short and sweet, and to the point. Nice :) Makes me wonder what the story could be about.

Description: The quote here is really confusing. I didn't understand it at all, but it is interesting.

Premise: THIS IS SUCH A COOL IDEA. To be honest, one of the most interesting stories I've come across on Wattpad.

Plot: Seems kind of rushed, but I can tell it's there.

Characters: Muzuri is pretty well-developed, and I feel like I can connect to her as the reader. I like how the characters interact with one another, and the dialogue is great! Not to mention, the names are really cool! (But you've spelled Muzuri's name differently several times, so I'm not entirely sure what it actually is haha)

Writing Style: There are some small grammar issues, but nothing that is too distracting. The dialogue is very well written! I can tell that you're talented and passionate about your work.

Step-by-Step

Origins - Part One: I'm not really sure what this is, is it a prologue? Anyways, the way this began hooked me immediately. I read it and thought "oh, this is really interesting. really cool." It's an interesting concept that people would have to keep the sun burning in order to survive. The way you described Stella could be more detailed. 

But oh my gosh! The way you described the sun. "Stella saw him staring hard at the planet then at the little lines of quick light that always passed through their Photosphere." I got this really pretty image in my mind as I read it.

You have some small grammar issues, really just a matter of putting in some commas and fixing some spelling. Nothing too big. THE CLIFFHANGER AT THE END is so good! I didn't hesitate to keep reading.

Origins - Part Two: Again, not really sure what this is. I think it's a prologue, and if it is one then it should probably be shorter.... Just a tip. The beginning of this part starts off with an info-dump. You should give us backstory and information in chunks. 

But I really liked this part (you're very talented) and once again, the ending kept me excited to read more! Gosh, this story is so interesting.

One (Eins): The opening sentence is kinda weird ("I stared back at my light brown skin in the foggy mirror.") You should tell us the color of her skin in a different way. Someone wouldn't actually look in a mirror and talk like that, would they? I don't look in a mirror and think "skin". You used a lot of good details and description here, and I absolutely loved it. I really like how the characters interact.

"If the sunrise and sunset were men, I'd marry them in a heartbeat." --Same, Muzari! Same. Loved this line.

Two (Zwei): I suggest that instead of inserting a break between the lines "I love school, just not the people. Not the loudness, the drama. I hated all of that" and then the next line that her English teacher says, you should just add another scene in between. It's kind of odd and jarring to go from one scene to the next so quickly when the chapter JUST started.

I really like Muzuri. She's relatable and she actually talks like a human being. (Some books have characters that are flat and emotionless-- I'm guilty of that) So good job on that! 

OVERALL:

I read the rest of the chapters, but I'll just talk about them generally here so I can save time. Overall, your story is fascinating and honestly I love it! It could just use some small improvements, like the ones I mentioned above. Put a little more detail in your descriptions, and slow down the pace of the plot. 

But "Half" has been such a fun read so far! I can't wait to read more. 

RATING: 7/10 stars. I love it. Keep up the fantastic work!

PAYMENT

If you'd check out my book "Resilient" and leave a comment or two with feedback to help me improve, that would mean the world to me.

Reviewed by mangoskies_