Not "Imagine Charlie"

Not "Imagine Charlie" 0.5

           

I am suddenly completely sober.

I can feel all the blood rush from my face, my eyes widening and my mouth falling open. I put my glass down on the side table with more force than necessary and stand to leave. I walk briskly over to the door, grab my keys from the key holder, and swing open the door.

"Hey!" Kathryn slurs from the living room, "Where you going? We still have a whole bottle left!" She continues, her glassy green eyes barely open.

Shit. What do I say? "Oh, I think that I didn't turn on the alarm system when I left the house," I lie of course, I continue, "Better to be safe than sorry. See you both tomorrow at the hospital! Drink for me!" I yell over my shoulder and close the door behind me. Thinking maybe I shouldn't be drinking myself.

I slip into my car and start driving. Where am I going? Should I go buy a pregnancy test? Are pharmacies even open at this time? I glance at the time on the radio, eleven twenty-seven. CVS closed an hour ago... Walmart! They're open 24/7 here in New Jersey. Should I really go and buy a test at this time of the night? Fuck it. It's just a twelve-minute ride, and it's on the same route to my house. I pull into the parking lot.

I walk up and down the aisles until I find what I'm looking for.  Why are there so many brands? Jeez. Then it occurs to me that I've never had to buy a pregnancy test before. Obviously I'm not a virgin, but it's not like I go around sharing my... cookie with everyone. I grab the one that looks the most elite, Clearblue, and make my way to the register.

I can almost feel the judgment radiating off of the cashier's body. Bitch.

"That'll be $17.95," the cashier says as she raises her eyebrows and purses her lips.

I roll my eyes and fish a twenty-dollar bill from my back pocket. She puts the pregnancy test in a plastic bag, rips my receipt from the machine and hands me my change. "Have an interesting night ma'am," and she raises her left eyebrow.

"Thank you." I say brightly, not disguising my sarcasm at all. I grab the bag off the counter, and head back to the parking lot and drive home.

I go to the upstairs bathroom, pee on all three sticks and place them on the counter top by the sink. I have to wait three minutes. I'm pacing back and forth, and I can hear the clock above the sink ticking away. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Only thirty seconds have passed, what the hell! I move away from the sink and sit on the edge of the bathtub. Taking deep breaths, I try to relax. You're either pregnant, or you're not. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I must've dozed off because when I came to, it was ten minutes later. Okay... just look at them. It's either a yes or a no. Get up!

I walk over to the sink and look at myself in the mirror. My face is slightly flushed, and the bags underneath my eyes are getting darker. I need to get to sleep soon; it's already past midnight. Focus! I take in a deep breath and look down at the three pregnancy tests lined up in a row. Negative, negative... Positive! What the fuck! I let out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I need to talk to Charlie.

I wash off the little bit of make up I have on, change into a pair of shorts and Charlie's t-shirt, and sit cross legged on the bed with the laptop propped up on a pillow in front of me. I open up the iChat and see the bubble next to Charlie's name, is his beautiful face. I initiate a video chat and wait for him to answer.

"Darling," Charlie greets me. He's in his hotel room sitting in a chair on his outdoor balcony. I can tell he's just finished shooting a scene because he has his hair slicked back with some sort of hair product, he continues "Why are you up? I know it's past midnight over there."