moon child | lai guanlin

six

heeun •

"my parents got called up by the principal last night, said something about his daughter getting bullied by a student called park heejung.." sighing, i changed the call to speaker mode and rested the phone on the bed next to me.

"which school are you transferring to, then? is it close by?" i ruffled up my hair and sat up, waiting for an answer. a good answer.

"um, it's.. pretty far from here, actually." i could feel my hope slowly deflate, like a balloon that was pierced by a sharp needle.

"oh, okay. when are you transferring?" i crossed my fingers, praying that it wouldn't be too soon. even though deep inside, i knew that jiyeon would want to get rid of her right away, and i would be alone in the school again, like before.

nobody to seat with during lunch, like before. the seat beside me in class would be empty, like before. i'll have to take jiyeon's insults by myself, like before.

"next week, i'll transfer to the new school. i'm sorry, heeun, i don't know why i'm so stupid sometimes. ah.. really, i don't know whether i should blame jiyeon or myself." i heard heejung's dry chuckle, followed by a loud sigh.

"hey, it's not your fault. it was never your fault. and, don't worry about me! i've said it before and i'll say it again, i can take care of myself! we're graduating next year, i just have to put up with her for another year." i forced a smile onto my face, although she couldn't see it anyways.

"tell me if anything happens, okay? we won't be able to see each other as often as we did before but we still have social media to rely on for communication, so tell me everything that happens in school. i'll tell you everything too. okay?" heejung sounded so desperate. desperate to turn back time. truthfully, i was too.

"damn, my parents want me to hang up. i'll text you later, alright?" before i got a chance to say goodbye, the line cut off.

;

unknown:

is this lee heeun?

you:

yeah, i'm heeun. who are you??

unknown:

lai guanlin

you have added 'guanlin' to your contacts.

guanlin:

are you okay? like really okay?

guanlin:

i heard about what happened with jiyeon and your friend

guanlin:

i'm sorry, maybe if i was there i wouldve ended up different.. i was in the toilet

you:

it's not your fault, don't worry about it

you:

hey, can i tell you something?

you:

you know yesterday you were at my house, you asked why i kept avoiding you, right?

guanlin:

yeah, what about it?

guanlin:

are you gonna tell me why?

you:

yep. this is gonna take a while to type, so you can go grab some food or something in the meantime

you:

i lied when i said my parents were busy. my parents are both dead, and i have no idea where the rest of my family are, apart from my brother who's currently studying abroad in some fancy college.

when i was around 4 or 5, my parents were still alive. the emotions you should feel at that age, that emotion called happiness, i have never felt that before when i was that age. all i felt was constant fear, fear that my dad would come back home 3 in the morning, a bottle of beer in his hands and the strong odour of alcohol floating across the house.

i would be curled into a ball, hiding in the corner of my bedroom, praying to every single god that exists out there not to let him hit my mom again. i would hear screams, furniture crashing, groans, glass shattering. i heard them every night, i told myself to get used to them. one day, i did. i got used to it. i got used to hearing my mom's screams, followed by the sound of my dad hitting her, and a groan in pain.

the night before my 5th birthday, i heard another scream. louder than any of the screams i've heard before, more terrifying than any of the screams i've heard before. there was a loud thud, and the sound of a snaller object falling onto the ground.

i walked over to my door, my hands were shaking as i twisted the knob. i peeked outside, my mom lied on the ground, on a puddle of crimson blood. her white shirt was stained red, the bruises on her pale face more prominent than ever. i was scared, my dad looked at me, his eyes filled with disgust and showed no sign of regret at all.

i feared for my life as he slowly approached me, fresh blood dripped from his large hands. "i'm going to die", i told myself. "i'm going to die like my mom."

for once, my prayers worked. i heard the police siren and my door being knocked down. i heard a man say "put your hands up or i'll shoot!", so i did. i heard gunshots, i shut my eyes close. i heard another loud thud, i opened my eyes.

now it was my dad who laid on the ground, his eyes rolled back and his mouth wide open, with a bullet right through his head.

before i could scream, i felt myself lose consciousness. when i woke up, the only thing i saw was a white ceiling, the only thing i heard was beeping from the heart rate monitor.

when i looked to my side, i saw my brother. but for some reason, when he reached out to caress my head, i felt fear. the same exact fear that was surging through every single inch of my body when my dad was walking towards me, his eyes full of hatred.

from that point on, i didn't want to accept it, even though i knew i had to, i was scared of guys. i couldn't make eye contact with them, i couldn't talk to them without feeling afraid, i couldn't touch them. i couldn't even bring myself to view them as normal human beings.

you're actually the first guy i've let into the house.. for about 11 years now.

i really hope you don't think i'm weird or look at me differently from now on, and please don't tell anyone in the school about this. i trust you not to, please don't let me go through that period of shame and denial again, guanlin..

(a/n: sorry for not updating for a few days, i couldn't recover from the last episode of produce 101 that quick ;;)