moon child | lai guanlin

galaxy (special chapter)

"up in the galaxy, where you and i reside, there may not be much, but we're happy. we're happy because we have each other."

we were brought into this world, lost and afraid of everything, until we're taught to love and until we experience the feeling of being loved by someone else.

love seems unreachable, like an utopia. we will never understand it until we find someone who'll help us understand.

that night, as the two of us climbed down the grassy hill, our hands intertwined and the smiles on our youthful faces as bright as ever, we finally understood love.

love didn't seem so unreachable anymore, and we realised that we were already living in an utopia, where the only thing we had was each other. but that was enough.

"so.. you're okay with skinship, now, right? you won't scream if i suddenly hug you, right?" guanlin waited for my response with an expectant expression.

"nope, the fear is gone and it's gone for good." my lips curved up into a crescent, and so did his. "good." he simply said, snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me closer towards his warm body.

for the first time in a long while, my body didn't tense up on its own. i actually felt comfortable, i actually felt safe.

guanlin asked if he could stay over at my place that night. i couldn't reject him, not with the twinkles in his eyes. i was lonely every night, anyways, so i said yes.

he was going to sleep on the floor of my room, until i told him that it was okay if he slept next to me on my bed. his eyes grew wide for a second, before he hesitantly agreed.

we left a gap in the middle of the bed, and promised each other that we wouldn't cross that line. my bed was so much warmer that night.

i laid on the right side, staring outside the window to distract myself from the fact that guanlin was right beside me.

i listened to his breathing, and when i was sure that he was sound asleep, i turned around, making sure that i don't accidentally make a noise that was loud enough to wake him up.

i analyzed his face. his perfect porcelain white skin, his pink lips, his long eyelashes that rested at the top of his cheeks, the bags under his eyes that darkened because of a lack of sleep.

i memorised the details that made up his face. the things that may have seemed like flaws to other people, were the elements that completed the masterpiece.

his soft snores filled the room, the rhythm of his breathing unchanging. it was slow, and it lulled me to sleep the more i listened to it.

everything turned dark, and after a while, stars started to appear one by one.

below was the city, the tall structures lit up by the many neon signs that advertised restaurants and hotels nobody was interested in going to.

i was floating in the sky, just like last time.

but this time, i couldn't move. i couldn't even see my hands or my feet.

"to be a star. that's what you wished for, right?" the same voice from that 'dream' i had a few weeks ago spoke.

"yes, i did wish for that."

"do you still want to be a star?"

i kept silent, not knowing what the right answer to her question was.

"right now, you're a star. you're one of the many stars in the sky. you may be beautiful, and it may be fun for a while, but when the only thing you're capable of doing is stare down at the fast-moving world, you'll start to wish that you were part of civilisation again. you'll get lonely, and when the loneliness gets so overbearing, you're going to regret ever making a wish like that."

"so let me ask you again. do you still want to be a star?"

i shook my head ferociously, and i heard the voice burst out laughing. with furrowed eyebrows, i wanted to ask why they were laughing, but they spoke before i could open my mouth.

"alright, that's the only answer i need. i know that life is hard, and sometimes, you just want it all to end. but there's so many things to live for, so many people that will grieve when you're gone. even if you want to give up, remember that there's always someone out there who will do everything just to make you realise that your life is important, and that you should never give it away so easily."

hearing them talk, their voice gave me a sense of familarity, as if i've heard it a thousand times before in my life.

then, i realised that i have. because the person who was speaking to me the entire time, was my mother. her silky smooth voice that had the ability to make wilted flowers bloom again, even in the harshest winters and the hottest summers.

"mom? that's you, right?" i called out, but a reply didn't follow. the next moment, i was back on my bed. the night was still as dark as ever, and guanlin was still right beside me, sound asleep.

the dim moonlight shone into my room through the small window, onto a square box wrapped with dog-printed wrapping paper.

i sat up slowly, and held the box in my hands, gently tearing the wrapping paper and letting the torn paper fall onto the ground.

there was a letter and a tiny jewellery box inside, the handwriting on the letter closely resembled my mom's handwriting.

"to my lovely daughter, lee heeun.

i'm sorry that we couldn't celebrate your 5th birthday, or any of your birthdays after your 4th one. this is a gift to make up for all the birthdays we didn't have a chance to celebrate with you.

i'm also sorry for leaving you all alone when you were just 4 years old. you must have suffered a lot without us. but you're stronger than you think, heeun. i know you are.

it also seems like you've found someone that you like, huh? cherish him for as long as you're together, because i can tell that he's your source of happiness, and you're his source of happiness, too.

take care of yourself, heeun. don't skip your meals, don't get sick, don't get hurt, and don't ever think of giving up. in this world, nobody has a perfect life. but if you learn how to turn flaws into something beautiful, you don't need a perfect life.

this is all mom can say to you. don't worry about me, i'm doing great up here. i love you, heeun, i always will.

love, your mother."

the tears that were building up in my eyes rolled down like a raging waterfall. i had to bite my lips to stop myself from crying out loud, but it was too difficult, and i choked out a cry.

i opened the cream coloured jewellery box. there was a necklace inside. a silver chain connected to a small gem that seemed to shine in different colours everytime i changed its position in my hand.

i placed the necklace back into the jewellery box, and along with the letter, i kept both items safely inside the gift box and stored it under my bed.

lying back down on the bed, i closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep after all that has just happened.

i heard shuffling next to me, and felt the warmth of his body on my back. he slung an arm over my torso, pulling me closer towards him. he was still snoring, and i almost laughed when i realised that this was probably how he slept every single day.

he started to mumble something, it was soft, but i managed to make out what he was saying. even though i knew that he was just sleep-talking, my heart was beating so much faster than before.

"love you too, guanlin."

(a/n: thank you for all your love and support on this book ❤ also, thank you for 3K reads!! this is a special chapter to make up for the anti-climatic ending to this book HAhaHA)