satellites

him

song: coldplay - the scientist
____________________________________

i don't appreciate you lying about things.
i don't need you to tell me all the flowery things just so i can be happy.
i don't require you to sugarcoat all your words so it won't come crashing down on my heart like how a glass breaks the moment it falls to the floor.

funny how i thought i knew you, almost too well, because the moment you talked to me -- i felt no more pain from this world. i could forget exactly how all the abuse had scarred and traumatised me. and for once, i thought you were the only one who'd truly deserved to hear my story. but now i feel as though you'd intoxicated me with that sweet mix of alcohol and ecstasy in your laughter, in your voice, and in your eyes.

i could've sworn -- the way your eyelashes had so perfectly embraced the outline of your lids -- i was starstruck and speechless, the moment i saw your beautiful face. i was fucking drunk with all the sweetalking you poured into a glass, before i continuously sipped on it while it absorbed my insides -- leaving all the permanent scars in me.

but now you don't love me anymore. i don't want to deny it, but it makes me feel so, so sad.
i used to love you so much.
what happened to you?

- diana x