Melancholy/k.t.h&k.j

one.nobody

Jisoo didn't know what to do.

It's been 4 months since her best friend Seulgi killed herself.

She was depressed and had suicidal thoughts.

When Jisoo got a call and saw the caller id,she kind of already knew.

She didn't cry.She hold in.

Even at the funeral.

Her cold stare observed everyone,even Seulgi's Classmates who did not talk to her once.

She watched Seulgi's mother,who was kneeling down besides her only daughter's grave.Her father who was caressing the mother's back,trying to comfort her even though he barely could hold his tears back.

Her sister,who covered her face with her hands,trying to comprehend what happened just now.

Her brother,who stood silently there,looking at the grave for atleast 15 minutes before being pulled in a hug by his mother.

And then there was her.

Her only friend.

She showed no emotion and she knew that people were judging her.

And she gets that.

Why wouldn't she cry?

Because Seulgi suffered.

It wasn't a good decision,heck,Jisoo wanted her to be alive and next to her.

Jisoo wanted her to make these corny jokes and to feed her food,that she cooked for the two of them the day before.

She wanted to see that beautiful smile again,that lit up the whole room.

But she was gone.

Forever.

And she chose that.

She chose when to end it.

Seulgi told Jisoo everything.

Even of her thoughts about Suicide.

Jisoo rambled on and on about how it was not worth it and that she would always be there for Seulgi.

How everything would get better.

How both of them would always be together and how they would marry and have kids and have little cute dogs.

Just like they planned.

But life doesn't have a plan.

And the last thing she remembers from this conversation is the bitter smile on Seulgi's Face and her muttering "I'm sorry",before forcing herself to smile.

Jisoo now understood what she meant when she apologized.

She apologized for her suicide.

She was already sure that she would do it.

And four days later,Seulgi was found in her bathroom,drowned in her own bathtub.

Jisoo didn't break down immediately.

She just thought that this was bullshit and came to the conclusion that this had to be some fucked up dream that she had.

It was not.

It was the fucking reality and she had to deal with it.

She had to live with the fact that she would never see her face again.

Her smile and her happiness that she showed from time to time.

It was lost.

Nowadays Jisoo was alone.