Fix You

Observation 1: I Talk Too Much.

"You did read her files, correct?" Doctor Laf asks while stirring their coffee in the early morning.

I clear my throat thinking about the consequences if I told them the truth.
"Yes, yes I did." I respond deciding it's probably best to keep my knowledge of Carmilla, or lack of, to myself.

"Excellent!" They say proudly before walking towards the door to start the day. I let out a sigh when they pass through. I was never good at lying but my job could possibly be put on the line over not reading her file.
Maybe I should just read it. Was gaining a patient's trust worth my job? I could always pretend I know nothin-

"Oh and Laura," Laf pops up at the door startling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"No more randevús to the roof, yeah?" My mouth opens in shock as they smirk before walking off.

I whisper under my breath, "How the hell did they-"

"It's in her files, read them!" I hear them yell down the hall. I place my palm against my face in embarrassment.

Definitely should look into her file now.

- - - - -

I grabbed and handed Carmilla her medications for the beginning of day two with her. She was mostly quiet this morning, only giving a raised eyebrow for being her nurse again. I didn't expect her, like most of my patients, to engage in conversation every time I treated her.

As the day progressed I decided to sit in the activity room rather than watch from the windows like most of the nurses liked to do. I got a few weird glances from nurses but ignored them. When in nursing school I noticed I worked better with patients when I was in their favorite environments rather than forcing them to talk under the pressure of having other nurses around. Of course I could have tried talking to Carmilla while she was in her room, but the jitters of not knowing her mental status made me realize it was safer out in the open.

I take a seat with Carmilla at her normal round table in the corner of the room. She had a book in front of her as usual and payed no attention to me so I took this time to observe her out of curiosity. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just some clues as to what her case was.

I started with her eyes. They had a sense of tiredness in them or around them. A tint of darkness under them showing she possibly hadn't been sleeping well. I began to look at her facial features. No lines by her lips, not that I expected her to be much of a smiler. As I continued on Carmilla finally spoke to me.

"If you wanted a date cupcake all you had to do was ask." She flips a page in her book with a smirk.

"What?" I question with a small shake of my head.

"I mean if you were gonna strip me down with your eyes you might as well buy me dinner first." She places her book down and crosses her arms looking to me with an amused raised eyebrow.

I sit back in my seat and look down at the ground in embarrassment. My face was probably a new shade of red and looking at her would only make that worse. Giving myself a few minutes to relax I look up for a conversation changer and find Carmilla's bookmark. It was a hand folded paper ninja star. Carmilla had her book back in her hands and close to her face.

"Do you mess with paper often?" I ask while grabbing the star on the table.

"What?" Her eyes don't leave her book.

I observe it in my fingers pressing every point against the tip of my index finger.
"Origami? Is it just for fun or does it help you feel calm?"

Carmilla places her book on the table raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Well wouldn't you like to know?"

"I mean it could also be a substitute for an old habit, is it?-"

"Blondie-" Carmilla tries to interrupt.

"Or they can be used as a coping mechanism, a way to relieve stress-" I continue.

"Nurse-"

"Can also be used therapeutically, you may also just really like folding paper but you seem to spend more time reading and-"

"Laura!" Carmilla says loudly stopping me from talking. She looks annoyed as she releases a fist she held on the table.

She just said my name?

"Yes?" I respond.

"Has ANYONE told you that you talk too much?" I could hear a playful tease in her tone causing my shoulders to relax from the tension before.

"Sorry I'm just,"

"Trying to figure me out? Yeah I got it." She rolls her eyes.

I couldn't have been THAT obvious, could I?

"If you want to know things about me you can just straight up ask. Don't 'assume' or diagnose me based off of habits okay? I've had enough rumors and 'bad reps' around here." Carmilla's voice was almost concerned, frustrated, or sad, I couldn't tell just yet. She may just be trying to get sympathy from me.
"And please stop trying to pick me apart with your brain blondie, I'm not a science experiment." She rolls her eyes. I sigh in defeat and begin to play with my watch around my wrist while Carmilla continues to read.

Sighing into my chair I think about how far I've gotten in my research.. absolutely nowhere. I didn't realize I released another sigh until Carmilla places her book down with a loud smack on the table and speaks in an annoyed tone.

"Okay listen creampuff, since you were not-so-smart, but sweet, enough to not read my file and give ME a chance here.." she places her bookmark in her book and closes it. "I tell you what."

I scoot up in my chair listening carefully now. This could be exactly what I was waiting for. An important secret to add to my observation notes or even a confession. Carmilla sits back in her chair crossing her arms against her chest and observing me.

"You can ask 5 questions every time you have me as your patient, only 5 though, I don't do those stupid 21 question games."

I couldn't help the small smile of success forming on my face. When I was about to start the real questions, including her reason for being here, she stops me by interrupting.

"-So, that being said," she grabs her book and stands, raising her hand with her fingers stretched out. "No I don't mess with paper often," A finger goes down, "Yes I do a little origami," and another, "It's neither for fun nor calming, I just use them for bookmarks," two more down, "And no it is not for stress." She places her hand by her side now.

My mouth stays open but no words come out. Carmilla gives me a chilling sneer before walking beside my chair and patting my shoulder.

"See you next rotation, Cupcake." I hear her footsteps walking further away behind me before I close my mouth and sink into my chair.

"You've got to be kidding me Hollis." I sigh repeating Carmilla's clever smirk in my mind.

She fooled me this time but I knew I was making progress. I now had her word that she'd tell me 5 things everyday and what she doesn't know is that I'll be seeing her.. every.. single.. day..

"Jokes on you Karnstein." I whisper to myself. I look at the table beside me and see a patient staring at me with a confused face making me realize I was just talking to myself. Smiling awkwardly I stand and walk out of the room.

Maybe I really do talk too much?