Nick: "So how do we do this?"
Jay: "Dave, idea?"
Kent: " I hear today's the Dean's birthday boys".
Dave: " Then let's have him blow out his candles", Dave said with a smirk.
We all then moved quickly down to the cafeteria and one by one went into the kitchen,
Dave: "OK, quickly, look for ingredients to bake a cake".
Nick: " I don't know how to bake a fucking cake, do any of you fucktards know?"
Kyle and Kent: "Eggs, flour, milk, butter, whoa! Jinx!"
Me: "Yeah and a bunch of other shit".
Nick: "He's the fucking smart one shouldn't he know?"
Jay: "Nows not the time for bitching around, let's get to work come on girls,"
Nick: "Yeah ladies get those panties out your ass",
Dave: "How about you stuff one in your mouth and shut the fuck up?"
"Oooo", we all laughed as Nick went silent.
We found a cook book that assisted us in baking the cake.
Me: "Alright the oven is pre-heated, Nick make sure the batter is thick and sweet, Kyle grease the pan with some butter, Kent once Nick's finished sprinkle the stuff in the cake batter and mix it in, Jay you good on the look out?"
Jay: "Yes mam".
Me: "Alright ladies come on let's go go go!"
After Kent finished sprinkling the weed in the batter, Nick then poured it into the butter-greased pan and shoved it in the oven.
Dave: "Okay guys, 30 to 35 minutes",
Me: "Great we should be done before the next class arrives".
Nick: "So Jay, how'd making out with the Dean's daughter feel?"
Jay: "The horrible part wasn't getting caught, she couldn't make out to save her life, she was terrible".
We all started laughing as he told the story.
Jay: "We were in his office right? And I shoved four fingers up her pussy cause 2 had no effect on her-
Dave: "Holy shit that's huge".
Nick: "She and your grandmother have something in common".
We all started laughing again
Jay: "And right as when I shoved em in there she starts sucking up my face like a vacuum",
Nick: "Yeah, looks like she sucked up your pimples too".
Jay: "Fuck you prostitute".
Nick: "Sure, only 5 dollars".
So we killed 30 minutes by picking on each other.
*Ding*
Went the oven
Me: "She's ready",
Nick: "Get her out".
Kyle: "The mother of all edibles"
Me: "I call it, Christmas Tree, cause his ass is about to be lit the fuck up".
Dave then grabs the cake, "Okay let's go",
Nick: "Hold the fuck on four eyes".
Dave: "What are we waiting on, the other class gets here in 10 minutes".
YOU ARE READING
DEVOUR (Freshman Year) Pt 1
Humor"DEVOUR" Is a HOT! New story, about 6 friend's first year in college, and all the trouble that had already been coming there way. This is too Epic! Only 3 Words DRAMA, SEX, ACTION! Must See!