Miss Cabello

New Pain

It was easy to fall into a routine. Camila was sure of that.

Each and every day, she would do light chores in the morning, read pregnancy books around midday, yoga classes in the afternoon, and Lauren's "fuck-you-whore-slut-dirty-pussy" drama in the evening when she got home from work. It was a burden in the beginning. Lauren had thrown a considerable amount of weight on her shoulders. Emotional baggage, but Camila thought she knew better. Hate was Lauren's defense mechanism. A wall that prevents her from falling into the unknown abyss. So Camila took it all.

She understood Lauren all too well. Remove the wall of hatred, was a woman questioning the unfair treatment of her husband. Camila could never return Lauren's hatred. Hate was all too easy, forgiveness, love, and understanding took courage. She could easily take away the hate from Lauren by telling it, but she would be forced to deal with the pain. She didn't want that. Her pain was her own, she could never bestow that upon a widowed wife.

-

"I don't think this fits well. It's loose around this area, Mani." Camila was standing in front of a mirror, holding the dress Normani had bought for her. She pointed to her belly, growing for the past five months now.

"It will soon, Mila" Normani excitedly said. She and Normani definitely found common ground on motherhood and pregnancy matters. Camila was glad an ounce of her time was allotted for Normani. Another thing was the nickname she gave her, 'Mila'. Camila loved it.

Eventually they ended up buying more clothes than the one dress Normani promised her. She also bought pillows and mattresses for comfort. Camila's heart warmed. Maybe staying with Lauren in New York wasn't entirely hell, after all.

"When are you going to the doctor to know the gender?" She and Normani were grabbing some lunch. Camila placed some sauce in her salad, eating the stray lettuce on the corner of her plate. "Next week."

Ally called her last night and informed her that the gender of the baby is already recognizable at this stage of pregnancy. Both of them immediately scheduled an appointment the week after. Camila was beyond elated to know the gender.

"I can't wait!" Normani clapped her hands. "I cried the moment I learned our baby is a boy." She stroked her belly, eyeing it lovingly.

Camila laughed. "I can imagine."

Normani looked at her watch and her eyes went wide. "Oh! I almost forgot I am supposed to visit my best friend at her office!" She finished her food at once and stood up, taking Camila with her. "Why don't you come with me? I'll be saddened to leave you alone in your house."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a nuisance."

"Nonsense! She's the sweetest woman I have ever known!"

"What's her name?" Camila asked quietly, holding the sling of her bag while walking to the car. Before entering the passenger's seat on the opposite car on side, Normani flashed her bright smile.

"Lauren."

-

Camila had not known the true definition of uncomfortable until the moment she stepped into Lauren's office. The pale woman wore her spectacles, her hair tied in a high ponytail, and her business attire all neat and fit on her body. Camila had never admitted to anyone, but Lauren looked beautiful. In that speck of time, Camila took her time in observing Lauren. The way she would put her glasses back in their rightful position whenever they would fall down her nose. The way she would tuck the strands of loose hair to the back of her ear. The way her fingers would move across the table after she wrote something. The way her chest would rise and fall after exhaling. In another lifetime, Camila dreamt she wasn't the mistress, and Lauren wasn't the wife, what would happen then? If she hadn't hidden the truth from Lauren, maybe, they could fall in-- no, Camila shook the thoughts away. Lauren hated her. That was the right thing.