Miss Cabello

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Things were never the same.

Almost as if a glass had been thrown onto the ground, breaking it into pieces, pieces that had been placed together once more with mighty glue, hoping to form the glass again. But it wasn't the same. Though with a miracle, that glass was put together in all the right places, but the cracks and lines that surrounded every single piece was evident to the naked eyes. And every crack was a load of guilt and a reflection of sin in a heart, and a load of pain in another.

Things just couldn't be the same after they had been broken.

That was what slapped Camila after speaking with Lauren. She was inside their room, tracing the ring Lauren had placed on her finger. She paced around, wishing it would lessen the weight in her heart, but it only gave her more. Camila went to the window then, watching the morning sun wave it's first ray of hello in the morning through the horizon. She hated herself. It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened to Lauren. Maybe she shouldn't have met her, so Lauren could be saved from this wave of hurt.

The sound of the sheets being ruffled brought her to look back to the bed where Luna and Lauren lay sleeping. Though her heart was in a turmoil, it could not resist beating fast at the sight of Lauren rising from the clenches of sleep. Lauren, as always, made the morning beautiful. But her heart squeezed uncomfortably tight when she had opened her eyes. The defeat was still covering her eyes, and Camila had to look down because of it. She thought Lauren would want to say something, anything would be acceptable at this point, but just like the past few days, Lauren won't talk, nor even look at her.

Camila immediately spoke. "I-I'm sorry for being here. Y-your mom was going to find out if I hadn't come here." Since her sin, Camila had decided to sleep far away from Lauren and Luna, thinking she shouldn't taint them. But just like that, Lauren's sight went pass through her as if she did not exist. She stood up from the bed, walking towards the bathroom to freshen up.

What she had not expected, was for Lauren to stop by the doorframe of the bathroom. "I never said I didn't want you here." Lauren turned her head to the side, but still depriving Camila of her eyes. "I don't know if I want you to stay, all I know is that I can't bear the thought of having you leave. I'm confused, Camila."

It had only been days but she had longed for Lauren to say her name.

Inside Lauren's mind and heart was a storm of hot and cold, trying to find something good in her pain, thinking of the moments she had with Camila, thinking of the endless moments they'll have together. The moments were now ghosts of her past that were now haunting her, and she could not decide if the tender moments of love could ever outweigh one pain. But she needed them to outweigh it, because not having Camila by her side would only multiply it by an infinity.

"Do you want to stay?" And when Lauren had finally given her the privilege of looking at her eyes, the word 'Yes' remained unmoving on Camila's tongue as she saw the invisible pleading shown by Lauren's face.

As she was about to answer, Luna started squirming on the bed, showing signs of her wake. Lauren could only sigh as Camila scooped Luna in her arms, burying her lips on her cheeks. Oh dear, she smelled so much like Lauren. "Good morning, Nana." Lauren went closer to say her morning words to Luna, her body near Camila.

She was aching to hold Lauren, to kiss her, and she knew it would only break her further, but Camila took one hand and held Lauren's own. Lauren showed no emotion in her face, only gave a few kisses on Luna's forehead. Lauren never held her hand back, but this, this was enough for Camila.

But Camila never knew that despite the numbness Lauren was showing, the small gesture was eliciting the sparks of love between them. Camila hardly felt it, but Lauren curled her fingers softly to Camila's hand.