Here By Choice [Suga x Male Reader]

Introduction

I wake to beeping, monotonous beeping.
Opening my eyes, I see sterile white walls and I immediately know I'm back.
And alive.
Hobi must have found me again, I think to myself.
"I see you are awake." The doctor comes in subtly, making me jump.
I nod,
"Can you speak?" He asks in concern, and I nod.
"Yes." I say, resigned. He nods and writes a few things on his clipboard. When he's done he looks at me with level eyes, studying me.
"You had an overdose," He says carefully, "what happened?" He murmurs. I sigh again.

"I misread the amount of sleeping pills I was supposed to take." I lie easily. He says nothing, clearly seeing through me, but he can't force me to admit I attempted suicide.
"I see." He says, looking sad and suddenly he's aged a few years as he stands.
"You have a guest, your roommate from University. Do you want to see him?" He asks and I nod again. He nods back, saying nothing as he leaves.
A few moments later, Hobi enters, his face wet with tears.
My heart breaks a bit and throbs with guilt. I didn't want him to see, I was sure he was gone and I didn't expect him to come back soon enough to call an ambulance for me.

He sits beside me, and takes my hand, as if he thinks if he takes his eyes off me and doesn't touch me I'll disappear.
He says nothing, just wipes his eyes as he sobs. His tears make me feel guilty, but I deserve it.
"Is this about Yoongi?" He whispers quietly and the name burns a few thousand holes into me. I close my eyes, and shake my head.
"No...I'm just..I...I'm not good enough for that school. I'm failing all my classes even though I'm trying so hard, I'm just stupid. This has nothing to do with him." I say, tears leaking out of my eyes.
I choke back a sob, only the last part was a lie, but I'm pathetic enough as it is. I don't want Hoseok to see me the way I do.

"You can't say that...you aren't stupid, (Y/n)! You're the smartest person I know, I can help you. Please don't ever try to kill yourself again.." he whispers, clutching my hand tighter.
His eyes are locked on mine.
We're in all the same classes, which is why we're roommates, and I nod weakly.
"I can't make promises...but I'm willing to try.." I say, meaning the tutoring, and I know he understands. He always did have a knack of understanding me perfectly, I'd be willing to bet he already knows I lied about it not being at all about him.

Hobi smiled weakly at me, and nodded, wiping his eyes again and nodding continuously.
"Good, because...I don't want you to die, (Y/n)..." he whispers, moving so he can hug me.