Here By Choice [Suga x Male Reader]

Three

"Can I have the ramen bowl please?" I ask.
Hoseok chose a Japanese restaurant. Which was fine by me, and he ordered Tempura.
I knew he was still trying to understand the events from earlier, so I just sat back and let him, knowing he would understand better without me needing to say anything.

My body was aching and creaking from moving so much when I'm still recovering from almost dying, but I was satisfied in a weird way, because the pain was from protecting Hoseok, and it felt good after hurting him so much.
I stare at him, and admire the light caught in his dark hair and eyelashes, his soft skin, drinking in how his hair is growing longer, finally getting to the length he likes. His mom cut his hair for him before he started Uni and it's finally long enough for him to feel more comfortable with it.
Honestly, everything about his looks scream "child" in a good way, because it matches his personality. He's naive and innocent, and he always gives away pieces of his heart to anyone he thinks needs it. He's a little angel and sometimes I find it very difficult to understand how anyone could dislike him.
It isn't until this moment however, that I see the dark circles under his eyes.
I'd initially thought they were from me-he had stayed up all night because he was scared that if he went to bed something would happen to me when he couldn't be there to know.

He'd told me this himself, but I am only now remembering that...dark circles like that don't just appear under your eyes in a day. These were pronounced and plum purple. Most certainly not something that had developed in merely 24 hours, maybe only darkened to such a severe shade.
"Hoseok..." I murmur, distracting him from his tempura.
"Mhmm?" He says, finishing his piece of food. "What is it?" He asks me curiously and I point at my own eyes.
"How long has it been since you've slept?" I ask, and I can visibly see him tense. Only slightly, but enough to look like he's bracing himself.
"Um...around," he checks his watch, "23 1/2 hours. Why?" He says, playing it a little too innocent.
"Well I'm just wondering why your eyes look so bad. Those dark circles are too dark for only 23 hours." I say, and he averts his eyes. The normally warm chocolate now looks wary.
"I've been having a hard time sleeping lately..." he says, but I hear the false note in his voice.
"Hobi...don't lie, please." I say gently. He stares down at the table, and I know I'm ruining the happy lunch I wanted to take him on.
"I've been staying up really late studying.." he finally admits to me, sighing and looking up at me. He looks as if he wants his too large hoodie to grow larger and eat him.
"Awe Hobi you don't need to study that hard! You need sleep or you won't be able to concentrate in class." I explain and he nods, looking sad.
"I'm studying extra hard so I can help you.." he says so quietly that it takes my brain a moment to piece together the tenors of his whisper.
You're hurting him even more. You're hurting his health now.
Whispers a voice in my head. I grit my teeth at myself an blow out a long, deep breath.
"I'm happy you're willing to help me but Hobi please, you need to sleep more. 'Kay?" I ask, and he sighs before smiling reassuringly at me.
"Okay." He agrees and I smile at him, rubbing his shoulder, hoping it will convey my thanks.

"Now let's continue our meal!" I grin at him, trying to revive the happy mood and he smiles back.
And for a peaceful ten minutes it's silent as we eat. It isn't an awkward silence, it's a calm, comfortable silence. One we both know we could break but neither of us wants to ruin the mood of tranquility as all thoughts of him and what happened are out of our minds.

I was just finishing my food, looking out the window to admire a few birds flying overhead as if they were dancing, when Hoseok spoke.
"Did you really mean it?" He asked, in a happy tone.
"Mean what?" I turn my attention to him, reviewing our conversation in my head. Did he mean if I really meant I didn't need his help? Ah, that sounds harsh. I didn't mean it that way. Maybe that's what he's going to ask?
Or did he mean if I really meant that I care for his health? Well, of course I do.

"Did you mean it when you protected me from Y-him? About how I'm your best friend?" He asked, and I could hear the hope spark in his voice like green lifesavers sparked when you bit them.
I chuckle, and lean over to ruffle his hair and I regarded him with tender eyes.
"Of course I meant it. You're my bestest friend, Hoseok." I said fondly and he smiled at me, grabbing my hand and keeping it on his head, blocking his face from view and I saw his shoulders shake.
"Ho-"
"I've never had a best friend..." he murmured through a voice thick with emotion, and I smiled again, patting his head, his hands still holding mine. And I continued patting his head as he cried.