Black as Night | P. Parker

Chapter Twenty

Onyx had been so distracted by her own thoughts and been wrapped up in her own world, that she didn't hear her voice being called over and over again. When she did finally hear it, she thought that it had to be someone else, even though the likelihood of someone else having the same name as her and being there right now was very low.

"Onyx!"

She turned towards the source, and her heart stopped in her chest.

No. No, no, no. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be real. She had to have fallen asleep and this was just some kind of nightmare. He couldn't be here right now.

"Onyx!"

She turned away from Peter, and grabbed her things, hurrying away from him as fast as she could. He was going to try and stop her from getting on that train and she couldn't let him. She couldn't let him stop her from doing this right now.

A hand grabbed her arm, gentle, but strong. She didn't look towards the person.

"Onyx, please," Peter said softly.

She didn't respond, just determinedly looked away from him. But Peter was smart, and he twisted around so he was standing in front of her.

"Please, look at me," he begged. Reluctantly, Onyx turned her green eyes to his brown ones. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm leaving," she said flatly.

"Why?"

"Because I can't stay here. I can't stay here anymore, with you and May. It's too much. You've changed me, Peter, and I'm not sure that it was for the better," she told him.

"I think it has been," he said, "when you arrived at my house, you were cold and unfeeling. You barely wanted to talk to May and I, and you hid away or left so that you wouldn't have to talk to us. Now... well, now you care about us, or about me at least."

Onyx didn't reply, just stared into Peter's eyes blankly. She furiously stomped down the emotions raging in her heart and made her face as cold as possible. Peter seemed to notice this, and knit his eyebrows together.

"You don't have to go," he begged.

"Yes, I do. I'm not staying here."

"Please, I care about you, Onyx, and I know that everyone else does too. Gwen and Mary-Jane and Harry and May... Everyone cares about you, Onyx. Why do you have to go?"

The dark-haired girl sighed and looked away from Peter, "because I want to be that cold and unfeeling person that you first met. I don't want to feel things Peter, and from the moment I met you you changed me. Nightmares of memories that I hadn't thought about since before I ran away plagued me the first night I spent in your home. And they continued.

"And now... I feel things, Peter. Things I've never felt. Kindness, empathy, love," Onyx scoffed at the last one and looked back over at the boy, "and all because of you, Peter."

"Love?" Peter asked, eyes softening, "do you love me, Onyx?"

All that was flashing through Peter's mind was the words that Hannah had said about how she could never love him and that she didn't. This was the moment of truth, the moment that he finds out if the redhead had been wrong or if she had just been trying to get him angry.

For Onyx, she knew that this was the last moment. If she told Peter that she loved him, there would be no getting on that train and leaving forever, leaving everything behind. But if she didn't tell him, he would be crushed. She could see it in his eyes, the hopefulness that her answer would be yes. Onyx was stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way out.

"Yes, Peter, I do."

A smile split across his face.

"It's good to know that it's reciprocated."

"What?"

That confused Onyx. He... He loved her too? But how? Why would a guy like Peter love a girl like her? It didn't make any sense to her. How could he love her?

"You can't love me, Peter, not after all the things I've done to people. Good people, like you," she told him, "you deserve better. You deserve someone good, and kind."

"And what if I don't want someone else? I don't care what you've done, Onyx, I don't care if you've killed people or- or whatever else you may have done," Peter told her, but all that he got in response was Onyx staring at him wide-eyed.

"You shouldn't know about that," she said, backing away from him, "I never told anyone, how can you know about that?"

Peter followed after her as she backed away, "it doesn't matter, I don't believe you would kill someone anyways! Sure, you don't like people and they annoy you, but everyone thinks about killing people. You would never actually do it!"

At that moment, Onyx's heart sank in her chest like an anchor was tied around it and dropped into the Marianas Trench. He didn't really know and he thought she wouldn't do it. She was going to tell him (because she had to, he had to know) and his feelings for her were going to dissipate faster than a race car and then she was going to run and she would never be able to forget his smile.

"But it's true, Peter," she said in a small, but cold, voice, "I've killed more people than you could name."

"No," he said, immediately taking a step back, "no, you wouldn't- you couldn't- no."

"Yes, Peter, innocent people who did nothing wrong, or maybe they did, you didn't ask when there was a good enough payout afterward. Money is money when you're homeless and need food, clothes, shelter."

Just like that, Onyx's cold, uncaring demeanor came to the forefront, making her voice flat and monotone. Because if Peter was going to feel disgust towards her, there was no point in trying to say sorry. She wasn't sorry for what she did. She had to get by somehow and killing people had been the best way.

"I don't care," Peter said finally, "because you can stop, you can not do it again."

"There's no guarantee of that. Who says that I can change?"

He stepped up to her again and put his hand on her cheek, looking her in the eyes, "I do. And I will help you because I love you, Onyx."