Bumblebee (Phan Ddlb)

a misunderstanding

"Daddy!!! C'mere! I gotta shows you somethin!"

Phil got up from his desk and squatted down next to his boyfriend, who was on the floor with a coloring book.

"Look, Daddy! I colored you a turtle!"

"Wow, baby," Phil cooed. "That's amazing. I love it so much, little prince."

Phil smiled as he held the sheet of paper in his hand. "I have to go back to work, though, baby boy. Do you think you could give your daddy a little bit of quiet time?"

Dan's bottom lip quivered, but he obliged. "Okay, Dada. But I miss you a lot."

"Thank you, little one," Phil replied, going back to his desk. He was editing a new video, and things weren't going as he had planned.

Phil had finally gotten down to the last chunk of video to edit. Just as he was about to save, he heard a small voice behind him.

"Daddy?"

The voice startled him just enough for Phil to click the 'erase' button instead of 'save'.

"Shit. Fuck..." Phil murmured. "Dan, could you please leave for a second?"

Dan quietly left the room and began to whimper.

Why did daddy tell me to leave? Daddy hates me. I've been a bad boy. Dan repeated to himself.

Meanwhile, Phil was fuming. He had spent hours editing his video, and now he has to start over.

"D-daddy? I sowwy I was a bad boy. I didn't mean to make you mad, daddy. Are you mad at me?"

Phil spun his chair around to face Daniel.

"Dan, please. Could you please stop being a baby right now? I can't take care of you right now, okay? I need you to be normal, or whatever. Not little."

"Oh. O-okay. I can be big again... If that'll make you feel better."

"Thank you, Dan. Can you give me some space for a bit? I messed up this video; I just need to cool off."

"Okay..." Dan responded hesitantly. He felt empty after being torn out of littlespace and then left alone.

Phil watched as Dan left the room and shut the door behind him. He couldn't help but feel as though he did something wrong.

Because he didn't know much about Dan's headspace, he decided to do some research.

Google search: My boyfriend wants me to treat him like a baby

Phil got plenty of results, ranging from mental disorders that cause people to regress to a younger state of mind, to very nsfw posts on tumblr.

Phil decided to click on the second result on the page. It was a post on some kind of cg/l forum.

The 'little' of the relationship will regress to a child like state. This state of mind is called a littlespace, and littlespaces usually range in ages from 0-8 years old depending on the little. Although sometimes it is sexual, it is usually nonsexual for the little. The caregiver is someone who takes care of the little during their littlespace. This is usually a significant other, however it is not rare for a little to have a platonic caregiver. The little can have a range of vocabulary for what they call their caregiver. Most commonly, the little refers to their cg as daddy or mommy, but many littles refer to their caregivers as auntie, big sister/brother etc. It is the caregiver's job to look after the little. This may vary depending on the age of the little, but will most commonly mean playing with the little, feeding, bathing, etc. depending on how independent the little is. The caregiver should never take the little directly out of littlespace; this can decrease their trust by making them think their cargiver dislikes them and makes them afraid of being little.

Phil felt his stomach drop as he read the last sentences. He knew that was exactly what he just did to Dan.

He got up and walked to Dan's bedroom. He had to apologize. He knocked on the door, but didn't hear anything inside. He opened the door, but Dan was not in his room.

Phil searched the entire apartment, but couldn't find Dan. He looked out of the window to see that Dan was sitting on a small patch of grass similar to a back yard that was behind the apartment.

Phil ran outside and to his boyfriend.

"Dan?" Phil asked quietly, rubbing Dan's back. "Can we talk?"

Dan simply nodded.

"I read up a little bit on the whole 'cgl' thing. I didn't know anything about it before just ten minites ago. Everything I did last night and this morning was all instinct. I kind of thought it was something you could easily turn on and off. I didn't know how much it would affect you. I'm so sorry, baby."

"It's okay," Dan replied. "I probably rushed you into the whole daddy role with not enough explanation. Maybe we can just try to start over with the whole headspace stuff, and this time I'll inform you and show you around first."

"Alright, love. Sounds like a plan." Phil said.

"Phil?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you more, angel." Phil sighed lovingly. "Now let's go back inside. We can watch some anime if you'd like?"

"Now that's a good plan." Dan laughed as the two walked back to the apartment.

Dan and Phil spent the evening watching various animes and laughing together.

The two men ordered pizza and ate on the couch while talking about their life together.

"So, can you explain the whole little thing to me? I read that cgl thing but I wanna know what it means to you," Phil said gently.

"Uh, yeah. Sometimes when I feel really stressed out or down, or for no reason at all, I go into this childlike headspace. I like to color and drink out of sippy cups and just do anything a young kid would do. It makes me feel so safe knowing that in that moment, I have nothing to worry about," Dan explained.

"Do you have an age?"

"It varies," Dan said. "Sometimes I'm around 1-4 which is my totally dependent littlespace, and sometimes I'm about 5-8 which is when I would do most of my independent stuff like coloring and playing with toys."

"Okay. Cool." Phil took an awkward, shaky breath. "Is there anything else that would be beneficial for me to know?"

"Uhh, I don't think so for now. We'll figure it out." Dan smiled and Phil reciprocated the warm gesture.

"Hey, Dan?" Phil said.

"Yes?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Mhm."

"You love me too, baby?"

"More than anything."