CAPTURE THE ODD

What if

What if, I chose to be more selfish at first?

What if, I could just tell him everything?

What if, I regret of what I've decided?

Will anything change?

Will I still have the chance to go back and change?

Three years ago.

I was just like the other girls back then, laughing around all the time everywhere, hanging out with my old friends, shopping madly almost every month, fell in love and had my heartbreak with that same one guy. I met him when I first started my career life. I didn't complete my university but got a job offered from the most famous fashion design firm in the industry. My aunt is a friend of the manager so the reason I got that offer was most probably my aunt.

But anyway, so he and I were in the same department and he was my senior. To tell you the truth, we seldom talked. Come to think of it, I don't really remember when did I actually fell in love. He was ignorant and love to flirt with all the girls he saw. In fact, almost all of the girls in the building he had flirted. He said it wasn't flirt but being nice, well to me, it was flirting. So his first impression to me was bad.

I was super awkward when it was lunch time, I really hated it. Everyone was looking at me like I was so much different than all of them. How am I even different when I have two brown eyes, two eyebrows, a nose, a mouth and long black hair. How am I any different, huh? Well, if nobody ignored me that time, I wouldn't have the chance to talk to him.

"Hey," he greeted me. I looked at him shyly. Yes, I was pretty shy with strangers.

"Hey," I said super softly and smiled but I didn't look into his eyes, for what I remembered.

"So, what's your name again?" he asked.

I was a little pissed at that time. But I acted like a shy girl with lots of patience.

"Ayren," my smile had not diminished.

"Ayren, a very unique name," I nodded as he told me.

"Tay, nice to meet you and welcome," he said and there he went again, his big bright smile that he always shows to everyone.

To tell you the truth, I was fluttered that time but that wasn't the time I totally fell for him.

So, there was time when he came to me and talked to me during lunch. I was quite happy when he came to me although not much, maybe just twice a week? Well, it just did make me happy but when I found out the reason why, I was pretty sad.

Rumours spread like a burst of epidemic. But, the rumours made sense and hit me hard; he only looked at me when he got bored of his colleagues. That was what I heard. But I didn't care, I'd rather been used than being alone.

What did he talk about with me? Most of the time were just nonsense like "Did you know BBQ can't go with durian?" and stuff like that.

But, as time passed and we met quite often. He started to talk about what he was like when he was young, his pet, his brothers and his dream. His dream was to have a brand of his own that the world would know and recognise. But that was before, I'm not so sure now. We had the same dream before, even til now I still have the same dream as the 3 years ago's him.

Maybe that was why we got together, we had the same dream. We slowly got closer and closer but neither of us expressed them in words. We kissed, we hugged and we even slept together. But when people asked, "Are you two together?" I would just laugh and deny because I just can't be with him. I just can't. Furthermore, he did the same thing I did, he denied as well.