NEVER EVER (KIM JONGHYUN X CHOI MINKI)

- 11 - CHOI MINKI

CHOI MINKI POV

(WARNING: CONTAIN SMUT SCENE)

"What if I said that I don't love you?" I intentionally teasing him and trying hard not to smile when I see his hurt expression after I said that.

"Oh... Well.. You're right. I guess I'm not a reliable boyfriend." He smiles although I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

He always takes things seriously, he doesn't even know whether I'm just teasing him or not.

"At least, I already told you that I'm really sorry..."

How can he be so stupid? After all these times, how can he think that I'm not loving him anymore?

It's true that I might not show how much I love him all the time and I might not look too jealous whenever he's close with someone else, but I do love him so much.

I have to keep my feelings inside, I have to suppress this jealous feeling whenever he get close to Minhyun or someone else. I have to act nice whenever he said lovely things to other girls, though deep down inside, I really want to keep him only for myself.

Then he suddenly talk about how he felt when he saw some trainees getting close to me. I know, he's always so possesive to me.

I remember back then, when I was going out with my friends, he keep contacting me, asking me what I'm doing there.

The first time we came to this dorm, he checked our room-mate too. He's actually always be the first person who can get up and getting ready so quick, but whenever I'm around him, he always slow down his pace, waiting for me who needs a few minutes to get ready.

I keep my eyes on him who already stares at the floor. He must be feeling guilty again. I wish I could stop making him blaming himself like that.

I finally told him about my feeling, that I'm afraid because I'm sure I wouldn't make it to the final. It feels like there's a heavy burden on me, because people will look at me as a failure if I'm the only one from our group who got eliminated right now.
That, and the fact that I have to live without him for two years is kinda difficult for me.

Others might said that it won't be that long, but we've been together for years now.

Seeing him sleeping on another bedroom with someone else for these past few weeks and I can't go to his bed anytime is already killing me, how can I survived with him staying on another dorm for two years?

But if we can't debut, our boss will really making this as the last time we ever known as Nu'est. And I have to see him away from me forever.

He'll be falling in love with someone else and left me or even worse: forget about me.

"If I'm going to debut, I want you to also debut with me." He said that.

I want that too, it will be really a happy ending for all of us if that could happened, but it's not us who choose whose going to stay and who's going to leave.

Suddenly, he pulls me closer to him.
"I know, but if I can choose, I want all four of us to stay together and debut together. I want to show to all the national producers how talented you are, how precious you are and that you deserved to be on the final too."

I don't know what I have done so I can meet someone as sweet as him.

It's always so comfortable when he wraps his arms around me, I feel like I'm being protected by him.

I lean my head on his shoulder, "but people will start to say negative things again if we're going to debut together."

He rarely seems to care about the comments about us, but when he write his part in 'Fear', I know that he actually thinking about those comments too.