cherished affliction

Impressions Of The Stupid And The Smart

Today, something was different about her.

She was such a beautiful girl. Always smiling nervously at the people around her. Always hiding behind that long beautiful raven hair and those glasses she seemed unable to do without. Always sitting in the front and always raising her hand to answer every sharp question thrown at her with a shy yet always correct response.

She was one of the brightest students and probably the most gorgeous one to ever grace the Yale campus.

She was a ray of light.

Which is why it was obvious that something was incredibly off about her today.

Today, instead of saying hello in that familiar husky voice, she passed through the door of the classroom silently and took a seat in the very back, hiding her face from view.

There was no smile, no raising her hand, no shy responses. There were only eyes that stared blankly in front of her.

She looked so utterly broken, so utterly vulnerable, it was heartbreaking.

After a while the class filed out one by one, until there was just she and the professor, the latter staring at her student with deep eyes of concern.

"Lauren?" The professor's voice called, and Lauren glanced up. Realizing that class was over, she gathered her things and made her way to the door.

A hand stopped her, resting on her arm. "Lauren, is everything-"

Jerking away, Lauren stared up at the woman with wide eyes. She looked almost scared, and the professor felt bad for startling her.

Realizing that her professor was just attempting to speak to her, Lauren sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose. Her face scrunched up in apology as she spoke.

"I-I'm sorry...I...you just kind of c-caught me by surprise...I-"

Her professor smiled, slowly reaching forward to press her hand against Lauren's arm. "It's alright Lauren. I didn't mean to scare you, I just noticed that it's the first day back from break and you seem a little different today...is everything alright?"

Lauren stared at the floor, her eyes focused on the white tip of her sneakers. The professor watched her; mildly surprised at the way her student was avoiding making eye contact with her. Lauren was always very confident, even despite how shy she came off sometimes. She'd always look you directly in the eye when speaking, her hazel eyes blazing in excitement.

Something was really wrong.

"Lauren?" She tried.

"My mother died." Lauren said softly, still avoiding eye contact. The statement stunned the professor briefly and she widened her eyes before swallowing the lump forming in her throat.

"Oh my god...Lauren, I'm so-"

Lauren glanced up at her suddenly, her eyes red-rimmed and slowly filling with more tears. It broke her professor's heart.

"No it's alright...I-I'm sorry I didn't answer any of the questions today but-but..."

Lauren's voice began to shake and the professor stared at her deeply, her eyes filled with sympathy. She reached for Lauren, but Lauren shook her off.

"I'm okay...I don't need-" Lauren cleared her throat, her voice a little more gentle. "I don't need your sympathy, I just - I'll be back on track tomorrow." Lauren finished and before the professor could offer any words, Lauren was out of the door.