Shakespearean - JayTim - Camp NaNoWriMo - July 2017

Chapter 17 - Cliche

Jason had another dream about Tim. There were a lot less clothes the second time around, and Jason was really starting to worry about his sanity. Jason was a special kind of guy. His unique... experiences gave him a unique perspective on a lot of things, and sex was one of those things. A very big thing.

Jason had decided a long time ago that sex meant something. When two people had sex, Jason believed that something happened, that a connection formed. It might not be a deep connection, but it really was the most intimate connection people were capable of forming. It made sense, really, considering one person literally put a part of their body inside another person's body. That actually sounded really weird. Like cannibalism or some shit.

Regardless, that was what Jason thought. He had to think that way. If sex didn't mean anything, then all those times he was forced into it shouldn't have hurt so much. If no connection formed, Jason shouldn't still be able to feel every one of them inside of him. The pain shouldn't still be there, like a scar on the surface of his mind. If sex was inconsequential, the memory should have faded like most memories from childhood fade overtime. Sex had to mean something.

That was the only explanation for why rape hurt so much, and why the pain never went away.

Jason had long ago decided that sex wasn't something he wanted, not casually. He didn't want one night stands, or even friends with benefits. He didn't want something fake, or quick, or casual. He wanted a relationship and feelings and commitment, or he wanted nothing at all.

So for Jason to have dreams about sexing it up with Tim... Well that told Jason a lot about what the hell was going on in his brain. And he wasn't sure he liked it.

Jason wasn't sure it was worth it, all the attachment. He wasn't sure the feelings and the commitment was worth it. The eventual break up and loss that was nearly inevitable in a majority of relationships didn't seem worth the temporary benefits of having a partner. And Jason really didn't want to ruin his friendship with Tim over some temporary feelings. He liked Tim - a lot - and he didn't want to screw with that just because he got a boner while he hallucinated about Tim during his nightly comatose sessions.

It just wasn't worth the pain. Experience rarely lied, and that's what Jason's experiences were telling him.

That was why he was so damn confused when he found himself grabbing his phone and pulling up Tim's contact. He couldn't fathom his own actions when he hit call. And he didn't know what the hell was wrong with him when as soon as Tim picked up, and before the other man had been able to say anything more than, 'Jason?' he was already blurting out, "Timmers, will you go on a date with me?"

Jason figured that dreams might just be a lot like intuition, and his was telling him that Tim just might be worth it. It was telling him that experiences were always right about the past, but they couldn't predict the future.

That idea was cemented in place when Tim said yes without a second's hesitation.

****

A date was one thing, but Jason thought that this was quite another.

"Timbo, why?"

Tim just smiled cheekily and yanked him on behind him. "Because it's awesome."

"No, it is most certainly not 'awesome'. This is a death trap disguised as a nightmare."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Jason. This is going to be the best date ever and when this is all over, you are going to thank me FOR showing you the best time you've ever had on a date ever."

Breathing out a resigned sigh, Jason mumbled out, "I've never been on a date before."

Stopping in his tracks, Tim turned to look at him with a dumbfounded expression. "You what now?"