fast food ↠ joshler ✔

3

tentacleurie pretty much wrote this entire chapter so credit her !!!!!!

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tyler walked to work, frowning slightly. josh had refused to drive him because of his intense hatred for wendy's.

"but josh," he had said. "don't you love me more than you hate wendy's?"

"nothing can compare." josh had responded, crossing his arms.

"jen, think we can carpool in the future?" tyler said as he walked to the kitchen twenty minutes later.

jenna laughed. "why?"

"i told my boyfriend i work here."

jenna nearly dropped the box of fries she was holding. "wait, you told your boyfriend, the one who hates this chain for some fucking reason, that you work here?? how stupid are you??"

tyler turned his attention to the fryer. "not stupid enough to leave a bunch of fries in the fryer!"

jenna panicked and rushed over to the fryer, rolling her eyes when she saw there was nothing inside it. "i hope you die alone in a ditch."

"right back at you." tyler winked as he walked up to the counter; he worked the cash register.

they normally didn't get busy for another ten minutes, but that's not true. they were never busy.

---

later that day

tyler had just finished his lunch break when it happened. there was only a family of four sitting in one of the corner booths, and a lonely, emo-looking teenager swirling her straw around her frosty.

everything was normal, but that wouldn't last.

the door burst open loudly, and josh came sauntering in. tyler's eyes widened excitedly at the sight of him.

that's when josh pulled the biggest speaker tyler had seen in awhile out from behind his back. he placed it on the counter, and all tyler could do was stare. what was he supposed to do?

josh smiled and pressed the power button.

nothing happened.

he chuckled awkwardly before hitting the speaker with his fist. it fell on the ground.

"oh my fucking god." josh muttered, pulling his phone out of his back pocket.

"josh? what are you-"

"shh!" josh shushed tyler.

"settings..." josh mumbled. "bluetooth.... anthrax.... there."

the machine beeped, and josh cheered.

"wait, hold up," tyler said. "you named your speaker anthrax?"

"yeah! pretty cool, isn't it? it sounds very hardcore."

"josh, anthrax is a drug."

josh stared at tyler.

tyler stared at josh.

josh continued staring at tyler.

tyler continued staring at josh.

josh tapped a button his phone, and moaning sounds began coming from the speaker.

tyler's eyes widened and he nearly hopped over the counter. "josh, turn that shit off!"

josh simply smiled and began to turn the volume up slowly, dial by dial.

the mother of the family of four was seen rushing her children outside. the father seemed to be laughing. the teenager was recording it with her phone.

tyler attempted to leap over the counter gracefully, but his foot hit the cash register and he curled up in a ball on top of the counter.

"why does the universe hate me?" tyler whispered quietly.

josh's speaker was on maximum volume and josh was cracking up, miming some very sexual movements like the porno mime in the build god, then we'll talk music video.

tyler jumped up, standing menacingly on the counter.

"you're not scary, ty-guy!" josh said, laughing.

tyler, not knowing what else to do, tackled josh to the ground. it didn't hurt, since he used josh as a cushion.

tyler pinned josh to the floor.

"wow." josh said. "i never thought i'd see you on top of me."

josh winked, and tyler rolled his eyes. he ripped the phone out of josh's hand and paused the video.

"i hate you so much, j." tyler said, getting off josh awkwardly.

josh grabbed tyler's hand and dragged him back down, kissing him. "you love me."

tyler pulled away quickly, slapping away josh's hand. "not right fucking now i don't."

josh frowned, picked up his speaker, and left.

tyler sighed, walking over to the teenager first. "how can i make you not call my manager?"

the girl laughed. "dude, this is the best shit i've seen all day. i'll upload it tomorrow and blur out your face so your boss can't fire you. you made my fucking day. oh my god."

"thanks." tyler said, smiling.

he walked over to the father in the corner. "fries on me? i have a feeling that was traumatizing for your kids."

the man smiled. "my wife's the one who needs free fries. i don't need anything. i'm so fucking turned on right now."

tyler nodded, chuckling awkwardly and heading outside.